Ketchup

Okay, so I've been busy losing my mind and need to update.

First off- THANK YOU to those who commented on my previous post. Your advice is absolutely invaluable and I love you guys.



Me loving you guys

Secondly- I still have readers! *happiez*

I digress. Back to the Outcome.
I was able to hold the Team off on modifying anything just yet. I asked for every possible evaluation I could think of. OT, Speech, academic, and technological.  Jaysen's IEP is in December, and I'd like these evals done prior to that, but it is the district, and I'm not holding my breath. This is a big IEP though since it's his re-qualifying one, and also will be dealing with his transition to middle school next year. I do plan on calling a transition meeting in a few months, and I ain't skeered to re-open the IEP if need be.

Regarding some of the frustration Jaysen has been experiencing this year- we did, as a Team, decide to withdraw Jaysen from band. Although I was initially against the idea, it causes Jaysen major stress. If we try it without band, it just could relieve some of the avoidance behaviors he's been exhibiting, but we won't know until we try. On the up side, they replaced band with art, something Jaysen enjoys immensely. So the up side is that he now has art everyday.

I'm also laying down the law (again) with my minion.  We are going to read every single night and try to boost his reading skills. Jaysen hates reading because he finds it difficult. We're back to limiting the video games to an hour after school. Jaysen actually gets more than this because he's home before I am, but I'm not going to create a situation that will foster lying to me, so I'm just looking at it as a freebie for him. So far, it's been met with some resistance, but I expect that.

And that's really all I know.

On a side note- 6th grade is friggin' tough! I can't believe the amount of homework that comes home every night. It's insane. And frustrating for everyone, not just Jaysen. My math skills topped out in 4th grade. Sad, but pretty true. I can spell the feck out of anything (a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. See?), but when it comes to finding common denominators....look for them yo' damn self, 'cuz I can't find squat.  You need to get 6 cups of sugar into 4 bowls? Eyeball it.  You need 10 apples to go into 8 lunches? I guess 2 people need to eat oranges. That's life, people. Suck it up.
(Thank you Sissy, for helping me with Jaysen's math homework!)

There's the update.
Send a math tutor.

Ready...set...

I have so much updating I need to do- not to mention my blog was hijacked and I couldn't get in...it's a little overwhelming, but I promise I will get there.  Pinky Swear.
But first-
You all know what today is, right?

Did you really think Jaysen was going to start 5th grade without my annual
First Day of School Freakout?!?
Hahaha....no...you know me better than that!
I am realizing, though, that The Freakouts are happening for a shorter period of time, so that's improvement...

We met the Resource Room teacher and he seems Awesome.  I'm very excited that he remembered Jaysen from ESY, and said they worked well together.  He also is kind of "tech-y", and is willing to help and encourage Jaysen's interest with basic computer-stuffs.  Double bonus there.  His Super-Awesome Resource Room teacher from The Awesome School is now his guidance counselor, so we also have that going for us.  It really looks like his year is going to start off with the right supports.  There's a couple of craperiffic things going on this year too, such as the horrible principal from the Bad School is now his assistant principal, and his parapro seems kind of clueless, but I'm hoping neither of those will be issues this year.  Om...

Jaysen was totally excited to start school today.
This is pretty huge, since for one, said child is getting bigger, with all new "big kid" responsibilities, such as *ahem* deodorant usage and the like, but also changes in our district, have now made him an "upper elementary" student.  Ooh-la-la!  This means a total change. 
New school, new teachers, new schedules, new kids, new curriculum, and holy shit LOCKERS....it's just a whole buncha NEW.  We don't usually do Teh New.  But Jaysen was excited, and that's always a bonus.  Except this year he didn't make me wait for the bus 45 minutes early.  Yay!


Here's what I think helped his new routine:

       

Awesome idea:  Morning routine written on mirror with a dry erase marker.  This way, he checks off the steps that need to be carried out to make a new morning routine. 

Smooooth, like buttah.                                 

Really, Mom....the camera?  I'm just brushing my hair. 

Give it a rest, yo.

Ta-da!  All ready for the First Day of School!  Yes, I tucked in the offending pockets. 

Also, need to work on the striking a pose.  Lookout Village People.

And here's what I think helped me:

Cheers.

Another reason my children will need more therapy...

Jaysen's lunch.

New strategy.

Reads: Magic carrots. Only eat if you want super-speed.

Love, Mom

Reads: Evil Cookie of Doom.

Love, Mom

Yeah, it didn't work either, but I had to give it a shot.

Um...wow.

4th grade is.........AMAZING!
I am happy to report that Jaysen is off to a great start this year- in school, and at home.

His parapro reports that his anxiety/frustration level is way down this year, and when he does have difficulty, he is using strategies to help diffuse himself.

Wow.

At home, I am seeing a happy, social kid, but also a helpful one. I can't even begin to tell you how helpful Jaysen has become. He follows directions with little to no grumbling, and will do things like get himself ready for bed, or get dressed in the morning, without me even having to ask him.

Wow.

He is helping his brother cope when his little 3 year old temper flares. He helps him get ready for bed. He asks his opinion on what movie he would like to watch. He takes turns with him when they play the Wii. He answers Rylan's incessant questioning. He encourages him, and tells him he's doing a good job. He tells him to have a good day when he leaves for pre-school.

Wow.

He's also more accepting of the suckier things in life. Like dentist appointments, homework, taking medication, and bedtime.

Wow.

That is not to say my son is perfect. He is my son, after all...
He still has bouts of frustration. He still gets lippy, and he still doesn't know how to constructively express or deal with certain emotions, but he's actively working on it. And you can see it in his face when he is truly making an effort.

Wow.

He also informed me, "Mom...your little boy is growing up."
Yes, sweetheart......he certainly is.
*sniffle*

Skillz with pillz

Against my better judgement, I am totally going to post some superfantabulous news, about a superfantabulous gain we have made.

Hold onto your stickybuns, because this is HUGE.

So, you know my son...the one with sensory issues, who only eats things that he deems non-vomit-inducing? Okay, and we also know his sensory issues cross over into medications. No oral medications (makes him all barf-o-rama), has resulted in M-tabs and suppositories.

Jaysen was off meds for about a month. He started to get tweaky, so we revisited the med route. Upon familial suggestion (don't you just lurve that?!?), we tried Intuniv. Don't try this at home folks...my kid was berzerker. Like not a funny hyper berzerker... mean joe green berzerker. After only 4 days, we switched him to Abilify. Muuuuch better.

Huh?
What's that? Abilify comes in pill form?
Yes..... I know.

I had been prepping him for the meds... up until now, I had been able to successfully sneak him the Risperdal, but I wanted him to be informed as to what was going on and why he was taking these medications. Of course he bucked, but when I explained that the med was to help him not be so angry, and he might like how it makes him feel balanced, he said he would try it.

We spent the night before practicing swallowing pills using Skittles.
He thought it was funny and was really proud he could do it.

When it came time to "go live"....
Went without a hitch.
Perfect.
He even made a big production out of it.

If that's not awesome in its own right, here's what he said to me at bedtime-
"Mom...thank you for practicing me the Skittles...it helped awesome."

And now... he has taken it every day, on his own (with parental supervision).

Persistance really does pay off.

Four years!
It took four years, but LOOK what I found in Jaysen's lunch box!...

Peeps. Are you able to comprehend the magnitude of this feat?!?
My child...my food-issue child...actually ATE an apple.
By his own free will.
I know!
Take a minute to catch your breath because yesterday, there was THIS...

I know!
And just when you thought it couldn't get any better...
Today!...

Alright, so he didn't do as good of a job on today's, but still.
This is huge.
Jaysen, I am so proud of you!

As far as the rest of that apple...
Enter the clean up crew.

Bon appetit!

Friends, a uterus, house drama, and strawberries.

Just going to fill in the blanks of what's been going on at Chez Quirk lately-
Already, this has been a year of tremendous ups and downs.

My 2 best friends (only friends?) moved away- one up north, and the other clear across the country. Boo.

Anyone remember my lovely, and by "lovely" I really mean horrifyingly painful ablation experience? Yeah, well I wasn't one of the lucky 80%. So I'm having a hysterectomy (LSH). Next wednesday. Like a few days from now. Unless I'm still sick, because I now have strep. Lovely. Ugh.

Our house is still not even close to being built. Like the builder doesn't even have the permit yet. Ugh. I'm really starting to stress.

But check out my fantastonishing parenting skills-
Jaysen is putting on way too much weight.
He's now "The Jiggly Kid".

No fun.


Most of his crap-eating is at nighttime. I know. Wonderful timing.
So I mad a firm decision to limit him to ONE bedtime snack (90% of the time it's popcorn).
After said snack, he is only allowed something healthy to snack on, and water.


For those new to this blog, it's important to know that Jaysen has some pretty significant food aversions. He is the carbo-kid. Aside from the baby food I forced down his gullet, he has never, and I mean NEVER eaten a vegetable. Raw, cooked, covered in cheese, pureed, pureed and hidden in food, silly shapes, dipped in a variety of sides... I've tried it all. The times I forced- I mean coerced him, he turned red, eyes watered, and gagged. Not the gagging that you get when you brush your teeth, but gagging like holycrap I.Can't.Breathe! type gagging.

On occasion, Jaysen has been able to choke down red grapes and thinly sliced, peeled, apples.

Anyway, back to my evil plan.

The first few nights, he thought this entertaining little game of mine was a challenge of sorts, and actually went along with it. I love that he humors me. After a few nights of this, he was not amused anymore. He would get into bed, and ask for popcorn, cocoa puffs, cheese its, goldfish, or some other previously allowable bedtime snacky-type foods.

Denied.
You get fruit or veggies, and water.

He begrudgingly agreed to apples. Begrudgingly like I was making the poor kid eat sticks and rocks.

I remember back to the time my kid ate Special K red berries cereal. He wouldn't touch the cereal part, but would pick out the freeze dried strawberries. The next day, I was on a freeze dried strawberry hunt. Love you Trader Joe's!

Now, he gets into bed and says, "Can I have strawberries?"
Aaaaaaabsolutely!

Only problem is the damn things are so expensive! I mean seriously, I can only find them at the one store, and they're almost $4 a bag! And he blows through a bag a day.

So yay! He's eating "good foods" at night!

Um...yeah.

When I discovered just how literal people with Autism could be, I made a parental vow. I vowed that I would never lie to my son. I really just thought I would rather not confuse him, and keep things real.

Sure it could get sticky with all the wondrous magic of childhood, but really? I grew up without Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, and I turned out okay. Alright, it's debatable.

Anyhoo, I've managed to keep that vow by creative explanations and good ol' fashioned deception.
Jaysen asked me this year if Santa was real. My response to him was "What do you think?" To which he replied "I dunno" and he left it with that.
While I evaded, I did not lie.

Yup. I'm not going to lie to my kid.
Boy...am I regretting that decision at this moment.
(This has nothing to do with Santa, bytheway)

While I've been very open and upfront with body parts and their names and functions, here's a conversation I never thought I would have with my 8 year old son.

*note to the squeamish- turn back now. For those of you whom like to see me writhe, read on.*

I'm in the bathroom minding, well doing, my business. The door opens and Jaysen walks in- 'cuz that's just how I roll. If the door is locked, it's probably more business than I care to share with anyone. But it wasn't that kind of business.

Jaysen: Mom? What's dat ting?
Me: What thing, honey?
Jaysen: Dat... ting. Da ting you put in dere. (pointing to my panty-entangled knees)
Me: *ohcrap* I don't know what you mean, sweetie. Did you finish your DS game?
Jaysen: Mom. Dat ting! You frow it inna toilet.
Me: Bear. I can guarantee you there is nothing in the toilet except pee and toilet paper.
Jaysen: *sigh* like dis, Mom... *my son proceeds to draw a long rectangle in the air with his finger, then does a little squat and slaps his hand in between his legs*
Me: ......... *note- I am not on my period, so this is catching me way off-guard*
Jaysen: What's dat ting?
Me: Oh. That's just a pad. Are you ready for jammas?
Jaysen: What's a pad?
Me: .........
Jaysen: It's like dis. *repeats drawing in air, complete with crotch slap*
Me: Yeah.... Jaysen, I don't know if I want to tell you. I mean, I can tell you, but it's kinda gross. If you really want to know, I'll tell you. I think. Maybe.
Jaysen: Yes! I wanna know!
Me: *mentally looking for any out possible* Are you sure? You really have to listen.
Jaysen: Yes, Mom. I really wanna know.
Me: Okay... see, when kids start to become adults, there's a thing called puberty.
Jaysen: What's dat?
Me: Puberty means different things to different people. Boys may start to grow hair on their lip, girls may start to get breasts, both boys and girls may start to get hair on their legs and armpits. Are you sure you really want to know? You have to pay attention if you're making me do this.
Jaysen: *laughing* Okay.
Me: So, one thing that happens to a girl, is she gets what's called her period. *waiting for the lightbulb to come on...hoping this is enough...crap, it's not coming on* A period is when a girl bleeds from her vagina.
Jaysen: *eyes as big as Jupiter* Gasp! Oh no!
Me: It's okay, it doesn't hurt the girl (okay, so maybe I do lie to him). But that's why we use pads and tampons.
Jaysen: What's a tampon?
Me: *why do I never know when to shut my mouf?* Same thing as a pad.
Jaysen: Mom? Boys get periods?
Me: No, sweetie. Only girls.
Jaysen: Whoo-hoo!
Me: *yeah, no shit*

So, if you have boys and thought you were safe from this conversation... think again.

*And for the record, I do not throw any of the aforementioned supplementary aids into the toilet*

Thank you for not going all enviro-crazy.

Lessons to learn with Mario.

Amazing.

Jaysen was playing Super Paper Mario (because I let my kids rot their brains on things like video games and television...), and he announces, "This is a platform game".

I wasn't going to correct anything, but then I thought I'd better mention something just in case his statement later led to a google search of platform games...

"Actually, Jaysen, Paper Mario is a role-playing game. It's called an RPG (nerd)."

"But Mario is a platform game?"
"Yes, regular Mario is a platform game (and its 5000 varieties). Paper Mario is an RPG."
"What?"
"An RPG. Role-Playing Game. It's when you have to walk around, talk to people, read signs... it's interactive."
"What?"
"RPG is interactive. You do things."
"What?"
*sigh* and pause - (why do I even try if he isn't listening?) "A..."
"Can you say it again... more slower?"
"...?..."

He was listening.
And what an awesome job self-advocating.

Am proud.

Aren't you glad you asked?!?

Thank you for ASSking... the booty-bombs are a success.
Mostly.

The compound pharmacy has not made this particular antibiotic (Zithromax) into a suppository before, so I don't know if there's some tweaking that needs to happen, or if some minor discomfort is to be expected.

Jaysen will take the suppos willingly enough, but after a few seconds, he becomes concerned, and tells me it's hurting him. I told him to let me check, and he recanted, saying he was only joking. Only joking? Then why does your face look like your intestines are coming alive and threatening to take over your physical body?

I told him that he has to be honest and tell me if it hurts. He didn't. Of course. Martyr.
See, now that he's found something that he can tolerate, he's afraid that if he is deemed "not able to take it", his only other option will be oral medication again. Which he cannot tolerate. At all.

What he does do, is- take a hefty poop just before bed. We go to his room, and after the suppository is in, he lays in bed stiff as a board. After a few minutes, he'll come out of his room and ask me if his butt-medicine is melted yet. I'll tell him not yet, but in another 20 minutes it will be. He comes out 5 minutes later. Melted yet? No. 5 minutes later. Now? No.

I can see the discomfort on his face growing. I give in and tell him his time's up and the medicine is melted. He sighs relief and heads straight for the bathroom. He poos. Again. This time, there is poo and suppos in the toilet. Poo'pos. I wonder how much of the med was absorbed.

This has been our nightly routine.
He seems to be getting better anyway, and I'm just taking this first experience with antibiotic suppositories as a learning experience. We're learning how his body reacts to this new way of medicating, and we'll make adjustments as necessary for the next time.

All in all, I would still say... HUGE SUCCESS!
Time for the crappy dance. I mean happy dance.

What- no cotton candy?!?

Carnival Time

Barbara at TherExtras is hosting another blog carnival. Yay Barbara!

While I thoroughly enjoyed participating in the last carnival (even though there was still no cotton candy), I have been struggling with the topic presented for this one.

You see, Barbara is asking for tried and proven ideas for how you have arranged your home to enhance your child’s development.

Did you catch that? Tried and Proven.
I’ve tried lots of things, but it’s a matter of perspective on whether they’re proven.
Proven to what?

Drive me to beg for anti-anxiety meds?
Become a twisted learning experience for me?
Be a pain in the ass?
Work?
Surely she couldn’t mean proven to work… could she?
Oh the nerve of her.

I wonder if I can weasel my way outta this one. Our secret!
Hmm...

Dear Barbara,
I regretfully must decline from participating in your blog carnival- you see, my hair was recently eaten straight off my head by a hungry alien-wombat. Okay, the truth is... I really haven’t done much in the way of arranging my home physically, to enhance Jaysen’s development.

~When he was younger, and his hyperlexia was in full force, I would write notes and label things to help him understand what was expected of him.
~When he was around 4-5 years old, I had to put deadbolt locks on his bedroom door because he would have such violent meltdowns that he had broken off two conventional locks, and cracked his door.
~I had an alarm system installed with a door chime because he was a runner.

Other than those few examples, I have done little in how I had actually arranged my home. I did, however, change quite a bit, the education, actions, and approach, in my home.

To strengthen Jaysen’s receptive language, I had to talk funny.
I said sentences with only the pertinent words at first, in chunks, then gradually added the seemingly insignificant prepositions at a later. I used echolalia to my advantage. I had to communicate by scripting if I really wanted to communicate, then move to mitigated scripting, and strive for independent communication.

To strengthen his expressive language, I had to do some seemingly bizarre things.
If Jaysen asked for juice, I had to bring him the juice pitcher with no cup. The cup was no longer included- he had to ask for it. When he asked for “cup”, I had to bring him a shoe. He would look at me like I just lost my shit, but I had to keep a straight face and present him with this shoe. He had to re-ask for a cup. I would prompt him in a singsong-y voice “I WANT a cup!” To which he would echolalate (made up word- shut up), and I would finally present him with a cup. That’s a lot of damn work for some juice. This went on all day for various requests.

For sensory integration, I had to provide Jaren with heavy work activities.
This meant my child was allowed to jump on the furniture, take the cushions off of the couches (this still drives Companion nuts), eat an unlimited supply of Tootsie Rolls and fruit snacks, and for other sensory stimulation, play with “messy” things like sand and shaving cream.

I had to be aware that even a minute drop of water on his clothes would cause major sensory dysfunction, and be prepared to deal with the situation. He is a sensory seeker in some aspects, and a sensory avoider in others. I literally had to use brute force to accomplish such invasive tasks such as tooth brushing and taking medicine.

Discipline- Jaysen was almost always given the benefit of the doubt. This was not because I was lax, but I had found that most of the things he did were for a reason. Whether he was not able to communicate, someone misunderstood his intention, or whatever the case- the fault usually didn’t lie with Jaysen directly. Sure he had his moments when he was less-than-cherubic, but most of the incidents could have been avoided or de-escalated with a little introspect and awareness.

Most of all, I learned (and encourage others) to listen to my son with my heart.
What is it that he is wanting me to understand? What is it that he needs?
There's a lot more to a person than what we usually take at face value.
If you listen with only your ears, see with only your eyes, and touch with only your fingertips- you just may be missing out on some of the most beautiful and important things in life.


So Barbara, I do hope you understand that I am unable to participate in your blog carnival this time around. I just don't have anything to wear.

Sincerely,
Mommy~Dearest

I heart suppositories!

Jaysen came home from school on Friday- spiking another mystery fever. It's strange because he exhibits no other symptoms, other than a fever of 103.

We've gone through the horrors of having a sensory defensive child, who cannot tolerate oral medication. Like a trooper, he gave it valiant effort after valiant effort... and threw up every time. Poor guy.

With all the stories of kids dying from seemingly routine illnesses- my freak-o-meter was starting to kick into action.

I decided Jaysen no longer had a choice. The Fever was coming down whether it liked it or not. I went to the drugstore and sought the pharmacist. She remembered me (as the mom whose kid can't take oral meds) and pointed me to the acetaminophen suppositories.

As much as I did not want to do this to my child, I felt it was the only thing left to try. I summoned my inner Mara for courage.

I took Jaysen's temperature- 102.3.

He whimpered and cried that he had to take medicine.

I told him we were going to try "butt medicine".

He screamed.

I explained that we would try it once, and he reluctantly agreed to it.

Swoop!

Right after it was in, he said "Hey, that wasn't so bad! It didn't hurt! And I didn't throw up!"

"Aww. I'm so glad, sweetie."

"I love butt-medicine! It's way better than mouth-medicine!"

Um... okay...

Later that night, he wanted me to take his temperature.

100.8

Jaysen said, "Okay! Time for butt-medicine!"

Sweet.

I am so relieved that I have an avenue now. I don't have to worry as much about high fevers lasting for days, rushing him to the hospital for a shot, or trying to gauge if he actually absorbed any of the medicine before it came back up. That is such an awesome feeling.

Now if I can only find vegetable suppositories...

.

A spoonful of sugar.

Thank you all for your suggestions! Although none of them were successful (his aversions are just too strong), I truly appreciate the input.

Some other failures of mine were:

Coating the pill in Magic Shell. In hopes that when he put it in his mouth, the chocolate would start to melt and he would be ale to swallow it.

Cutting a slit in the back of a Gummy Bear and inserting the pill. Also in hopes it would just slide down.

Inserting the pill into a marshmallow. Same idea.

Luckily, he was able to keep down baby aspirin (most of the time). He could only handle one aspirin, which is not even a full dose, but at least it was something. Jaysen's fever broke that night, and he is back to his ol' self.

He's also been getting nosebleeds for a few months now-
I sent him back to school yesterday, and when I went to get in my car to go to work, his bus was in my driveway! My immediate thought was, "ohmigod...did I put him on the wrong bus?"

I ran out to the bus to find the aide trying to smother a child with kleenex. Upon closer inspection, I realized that the child in question was mine, and the aide was not trying to smother him, but rather trying to stop a bloody nose. It was bleeding pretty heavily, so they turned around and brought him back home. Free day out of school.

As Murphy's Law would have it, Jaysen is better, and Rylan is now sick. Same thing with the high fever, no other symptoms. Rylan will take meds to some degree (he can, he just doesn't want to) so I'm not tweaking about that just yet.

The most ironic part of this whole sickness episode? Jaysen telling Rylan to stop crying and take his medicine so his fever will get better. He's also encouraging Rylan to eat his chicken soup.

Um, yeah. Kettle? You're black.

Help wanted.

Jaysen's sick. Again.
People don't usually realize that your typical "sick" can be more concerning to a parent whose child has sensory issues- but a lot of you do.
Which is why I am seeking the expertise of my wise and beautiful peers.
Okay, and you too.

Here is my dilemma:
Jaysen has a fever of 103+.
He cannot take any medication- as soon as it's in his mouth, he gags, and throws up.
Because he takes his Risperdal hidden in his OJ every morning (shhhh) with little problem, I think it has something to do with the flavoring or sweetener they put in kids' OTC medication.

The reason doesn't really matter, since the issue is I Have To Get This Fever Down.

If anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE let me know! I am truly desperate. If there are any crazies who have drugged their significant other, I need to know how you did it. If you've had to give meds to a pet, I want details. If you have a child with Autism, your tips are golden. If you are a creative genius, I need your creativity. If you have worked for the government, I need your secrets. Now is the time for you lurkers to come out!

Here is what I have tried so far-

Liquid medicine (in syringe, in cup, in spoon).
Chewable medicine (whole, halved, and quartered).
Fastmelt tabs.
Fastmelt strips.
Caplets.
Different brands.
Different flavors.
Meds hidden in Jello.
Meds hidden in juice.
Meds hidden in a Gusher fruit snack.
Meds hidden in a muffin.
Bite of food, medicine, bite of food.
Stroking his throat to help meds (and keep vomit) down. (Yes, like an animal. I told you I was desperate.)
Compound pharmacies to see if they could make a topical or transdermal patch (nope).

-But-

Keep in mind my son will not eat-
Anything gooey (peanut butter, honey)
Gloppy (applesauce, yogurt, mashed potatoes)
Crunchy (veggies, most fruits, anything that particulates)
Textured (multigrain breads etc)
Ugly (too many ingredients like spaghetti sauce or soups)
Homemade (yeah, he kinda sucks like that)

The most difficult thing is that he tries! He tries so hard to get the meds down. Last night, he had a chewable in his hand and he gave himself a pep-talk "Okay. Let's do this. Let's do this. We're gonna do this. Let's DO IT!" Popped the pill in, went to chew, made "the face", out the pill came, and barf-o-rama ensued.

So please- go through my list of what I've tried already, again- and if you have anything (and I mean anything) that I am missing, please let me know! Currently, he is stripped down to his undies with a cold cloth on his head, drinking water. Poor guy.

Psssst....

I'm going to let you in on a secret...

I want to tell you about this super cool blog.
It's called Spectrum Siblings, and if you are a parent of a child with Autism, or even are looking to understand it a bit better-

You have got to check this out!

Cale, the author of Spectrum Siblings, does a phenomenal job of describing what it is like to be on the Spectrum, as well as has a treasure chest of information, tips, and tricks- that he himself, has Autie-approved.

Why else is Spectrum Siblings the awesomest???

Because I'm guest blogging there today.

Longtime followers may have already heard our story, but I do have some newbies.

(Hi newbies!)

Go and check it out. Now.

Put your hands in mine.

Okay, so my new strategy to introduce new foods to Jaysen?
Yeah, not working so far.
It seems either there is no motivation enticing enough to battle that demon, or the sucka punk outsmarts me.
Drat.

We've also had some regressions-
He hasn't taken a tape to school in a couple months. We return from break, and he suddenly can't go to school without one. I semi-expected that, so I'm not freaking out, but Thursday he tried dragging his suitcase full of tapes to school. I put the kibosh on that plan and allowed him to take two with him. He conceded, but the last thing he said to me as the school bus doors shut, was "I hate you".

He also has displayed some strange behavior. Yes, stranger than usual.
Jaysen often gets frustrated- usually when he's doing something that doesn't go according to his plan, especially computer games. He gets frustrated to the point of self-harming. It's gotten to the point that he has a choice to calm down, or he has to turn the computer off.
He will sometimes choose to turn the computer off, so it reinforces my belief that he sometimes needs it to be okay to stop what he's doing.

Lately, he has been so not in control that he will be at the point of screaming, pounding his fists into his head, red-faced, and tell me he can't stop because his hands won't let him.

The first time he told me this, I was really pissed. I told him he will stop, and I turned the computer off. Meltdown.

The next time he became frustrated to that point, he was bawling, and started yelling at his hands.
"Hands! Stop!" "Stop it hands!"
He was crying so hard, and kept screaming that they wouldn't listen.
I asked if he wanted me to make his hands stop.
He said yes.
I took his hands in mine, said some mumbo jumbo, and voila! Made them stop. He took a deep breath and thanked me.
Strange yes, but everything was fine after that.

This last time, same thing, except my magical hand-stopping powers didn't work.
He stopped for a minute, then said "Oh no! They won't stop!"
I suggested he sit on them.
He did.
A few seconds later, he cried that they were lifting him up from the chair.

He tried to "stop his hands" by banging them on the corner of the desk, digging his nails into the backs of them, and biting them. Biting them!

I am at a loss.

I don't know what's going on, but I do know that frustration is something that Jaysen cannot yet control.

On another note-
Tonight, he told me "there are a million people in here" (pointing to his head).
With my most nonchalant tone of voice, I asked him who they were.
"They're all Jaysen's. There's a hundred million Jaysen's in there."
"Oh? What do they do?"
"They work all night. They work hard... day and night."
"Do they help you?"
"Yep."
Um... okay, as long as they're helpful, I won't freak?

I know he's trying to tell me something, maybe explain what Autism's like?
We've been discussing Autism more lately, because I eventually want Jaysen to be at the point where he will be able to effectively self-advocate.
Maybe he's starting to process our discussions?

Has anyone else ever experienced things like these?

This is me.
Not freaking out.
Yet.

Koopas, Goombas, Bowser, and Food.

What do they have in common?
They are all heinous enemies, which should be vanquished from the face of the earth.

Jaysen's latest obsession with Mario still holds strong, and has expanded to include playing Mario on the Wii for hours at a time. Despite his frustration with the games, he would play from the time he woke up 'til the time I forced him into bed.

I have tried using a super-cool new visual timer to limit his game play, but as soon as the timer went off, he would perseverate "Can I play the Wii now? Can I play it now? How about now? How many more minutes?" etc, driving me batshit crazy.

Hence the new strategy.

I discussed the new strategy with Jaysen last night, and he's game (pun intended) for it. It involves his consumption of food, which has always been a struggle with him. I explained that he will be able to "earn" Wii time for the consumption of either healthy, or new, foods. He smiled and immediately wanted to make a chart. I told him I would think about how to devise such a chart (since he tends to outsmart me on these things, being the ultimate "loophole finder").

His suggestion was to make a chart with G, M, G, M, G, M, G, M.
Grape, milk, grape, milk, grape, milk, grape, milk.
Foods that he will tolerate in such desperate times.
Umm... no.
I explained that he will not earn Wii time by eating a taste of foods that have already passed into the "yellow zone" of not-desired-but-tolerable-at-times.

He can, however, earn time by:
1. Eating a serving of a "yellow zone" food, such as a half of an apple, or a small bowl of grapes.
2. Consuming a taste of a "new food" or a food which currently resides in the to-be-avoided-at-all-cost "red zone". Such as a bite of broccoli, or bite of chicken not in nugget form.

I know there will have to be some tweaking to the plan such as deciding exactly how big a "bite" actually is, or if a "taste" must involve the actual swallowing of offending item. I will have to make on the spot decisions according to the intensity of his actions concerning this. I can usually tell just how far I can push the limits by watching his reaction to things. Hmm... that bite of carrot was itty-bitty, but he's not red-faced and drooling? Try a bigger bite, buddy. Bite of mashed potato making him gag? Possible vomitorium eruptus approaching? That was a great try, and you may spit it out.

I have yet to determine how much time will be awarded to successful foodin', because as I have said, he has found loopholes in what I had thought were iron clad plans before. I don't know if I should even specify an amount of time. Just set the timer for 15-30 min depending on the amount and undesirability of the foods he did eat. I'll have to think about this one.

If all else fails, I'm sending him to Maddy.

Self talk.

Jaysen goes through phases. Right now, he's in "video game" phase. I should limit the amount of time he spends playing these games, but I know that in a matter of a few weeks, he'll be onto something else, and frankly, it gives me a bit of time to get things done around the house! :)

Now- in his defense, I do remember being involved in video games, and it was a big deal to get to that next level, to get the high score, and all that crap. He has really gotten good at some of them, and it is neat to see that he can play them now by himself, without too much frustration.

However, it was time for bed. And Jaysen was on a roll. He pleaded with me "last one, then go to bed ". I hesitantly agreed. Jaysen's usually pretty good at following through with his promises, and I figured I could always lay down the law if need be. So I went to lay down in my room.

I heard the game restart. Arrrggh...now I have to go start a battle because he's not listening. I walk out to the living room where I see Jaysen in the process of turning off the TV. He spies me, and immediately growls at me (for not trusting he would keep his word?).

He yells angrily, "Maaaah-meeee! You go to your room!"

Fine with me, I'm going to bed. So I went into my room.

Something wasn't quite right. I peeked into the hallway and under Jaysen's door. His bedroom light was off. Hmmm. He would not turn his light off and go to bed alone. He starts talking. I fight between eavesdropping and sleep, but decide on the latter.

His door opens. He tiptoes into my room, climbs up into my bed.

"Mommy? I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what, Sweetie?"

"I'm sorry- I get mad at you. I get mad, and I say 'Mommy!' and go to my room. I shut the door and I go to bed alone. And I talking! I not mad now. I love you, Mommy. Goodnight."

Wow. That was awesome. He not only self-regulated, but he talked himself through it, and told me about it! I told him that it was great that he talked through it, and wasn't angry anymore- but really, I was blown away.

Best birthday ever.

Yes, it's true! Jaysen had his best birthday ever.

He had a little party at school, where I was later informed that he passed out donuts (and licked his fingers between passes...gross...). He stood at the board, and not only let the kids sing Happy Birthday to him, but beamed as they did. He then blew out the candles with his "rocket" eraser. The excitement sent him laughing and spinning.

But that's not all!

The festivities continued at home, where things got even better! I was a bit worried because although I wanted to keep it small (his party is this Saturday, and it was a school night after all), the number of well-wishers kept growing.

Jaysen did very well waiting until after pizza to open presents. He loved everything he got:
A Pop up Pirate game, car crafts, and a hat and scarf from Ex.
A Moon Sand adventure set and refills from Aunt Sissy.
A digital camera and cash from Moppi and Peepa.
A card and a check (towards a bunk bed) from Gramma Betty and Grampa Ron.
Pajamas and a check from Auntie B.
Little Einsteins: Rocket's Firebird Rescue and a Spongebob paddle ball from Rylan.
Aqua Dots starter set and refills from Companion.
And of course, a Scooby Doo pop-up book and the Baby Einstein 4-pack (volume2) from me.

Then was cake time. Jaysen sat down at the table and told everyone that he didn't want us to sing to him because they sang to him at school. No singing and no clapping. I made sure everyone understood. If you sing or clap and wreck this, I will consider stuffing your body down the garbage disposal.

However, I think Jaysen sensed there was some segue needed, so he told us to clap six times. On his count, we clapped six times, he said "Happy Birthday" and proceeded to blow out the candles. He questioned as to why there were 7 candles on the cake, I told him the big "6" candle was for good luck. He pondered that for a moment, said "good luck!" and blew it out. It was great. Nobody screwed it up, and I could just see the relief and joy on his face.

Later that night, Companion and I were just blown away at how great the evening was. We totally wanted to do it again. gives me big hope for Saturday, but even if Saturday doesn't have the same success, it's fine. This not only tolerant, but enjoyable birthday will go down as one of his "firsts".


Thank you everyone, it truly was the best birthday ever.

Veggin' Out

Not counting baby food (because really...they open, and you just shove in whatever it is you want them to have), Jaysen has never- and I mean never- eaten a fruit or vegetable. His pediatrician tried to reassure me that he is following the typical age-appropriate diet of pizza, chicken nuggets, mac-n-cheese, and the occasional hot dog, and I shouldn't worry.

He's five now. He needs to be eating better foods, and following a better dietary routine. Yes, I am aware that quite a bit of this is my own fault, but I'm still figuring out this sensory stuff too.

So, we tried a sticker chart. Jaysen would get a coveted video tape if he ate 5 bites of a fruit or vegetable (he chose it to be apple- I made a mental note to next time write fruit and vegetable). I explained that he could take as long or as many days as he wanted, but he wouldn't get the video until all 5 squares had a sticker in them.

Day one: A successful bite of apple with much apprehension and a little gagging.
Day two: Another successful bite of apple, less apprehension, still gagging.
Day three: Yet another success. I decided to up the ante and make the "bite" a "piece".
Day four: One slice of apple eaten in about 10 minutes. Lots of complaining.
Day five: One slice of apple eaten in about 1 minute. Big smiles and "I did it"!

(It's extremely difficult watching your child having such a hard time with eating certain foods. He was trying so hard- giving such a valiant effort, yet he truly cannot handle the textures. His choking and gagging is not drama. It's for real. As a mom, I have to think about what's right for my son. Yes, he needs to eat good foods, but am I torturing him by putting him through this? Is this even helping him become more tolerant of different textures? Is there a better way? Because right now, I feel like the "Meanest Mom in America" for putting him through this. I offered him baby food, but he won't eat it because "it's for babies". He likes to juice things in the juicer, but won't drink it because it doesn't "look right".)

The next chart had 6 squares for fruits and vegetables. He choked down 2 pieces of apple and 3 grapes. I extolled him, and told him that all he had to do was eat one vegetable and the tape was his. He said, "*groan* maybe tomorrow". That was fine with me- I didn't want to push him. He did eat a small carrot the next night.

The day after that, Jaysen decided he wanted to do another sticker chart for another video. This time the deal was: Three fruits, one milk, and a vegetable.

The result?

The whole chart was completed that night. Hmm...this kid has got some serious motivation. He complained, gagged, and choked, but he didn't want to give up. He wanted that video. And he got it. Now my dilemma is- how can I get him to add these offending foods to his daily diet. He's willing to do it for incentives, but he wants to knock 'em all out of the way at once. If I could just get him to spread it out throughout the course of a day...it will take some planning, but I'll figure something out.