Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Anyone there?

I realize Blogging has gotten away from me for a bit. It seems I have temporarily lost The Funny.

For a quick update, Moppi (my mother and the watcher-of-my-kids), pulled something in her back and got bronchitis to boot. She's been laid up for awhile, and things have been crazy with trying to configure schedules and people to accommodate. Get better soon Moppi! We love you, miss you, and need you! :)

Then there's the Basement of Doom.
Yes, my basement in flooding again. It seems that there is not a person on earth who is able to figure out what is making my basement PMS all the time, but I'm really getting fed up with it. A wet basement is not something I want to just deal with.

Work. I lost a week of work last week, so now I'm trying to catch up. It's the end of the month, which means in the wonderfully glamorous world of medical billing, it's crunch time. Not a great time to try and play catch up.

Jaysen has had 2 nosebleeds in the past month. I'm thinking it's due to the house being so dry. I'm going to try a humidifier again and see if that helps. Speaking of Jaysen, he actually wants to go back to school! I thought I was going to fall over when he said he wanted school to start again, and that he missed his teachers.

So, hang in there, folks. The Funny shall return soon, and my blog will once again be populated with my 8 faithful readers (that I love so much)!

Happy New year everyone!
I wish you all a year of awesomeness.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Ten more reasons my ex-husband is a jerk-wad.

10. Despite my plan not to, I called Ex last week to see if he had plans to come out and see Jaysen for Christmas. He finally called after the third time.

9. He explained that he probably wouldn't be bringing the twins (his sons from a previous marriage) because they were mad at their mom. Erp?

8. Because he was going to see them on Christmas Day, he wanted to see Jaysen the day after Christmas. We confirmed the 26th. That was on Sunday.

7. Monday, I got a call from Ex, asking when could he come see Jaysen for Christmas. Um... have I mentioned he is a relapsed junkie?

6. The 26th wasn't going to work for him because his girlfriend has to work. Could they come Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve is traditionally for me and the boys, but if that's what I'm left with, sure, join us for dinner.

5. Ex and girlfriend come over and tell me they won't be staying, and they're taking Jaysen out to dinner. WTF?

4. When they get back from Burger King (because they have Nintendo Wii toys there now, and we all know that means...MARIO), they give Jaysen his presents. Rylan has to watch Jaysen open these presents, wondering where his is. I know it's not his responsibility, but seriously, would it have killed them to bring Rylan a matchbox car?

3. Ex reminds me they can only stay for two hours because they have to go to girlfriend's grandma's house.

2. They may have stayed an hour.

1. This is only the 3rd time he has been to see Jaysen this year.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Buzzards and the Bees

Last night:

Jaysen asked me a question that I wasn't quite prepared for...
"Mommy, how did you make me?"

So I answered him like any other modern, politically correct, informative mother would.
"Out of Jaysen-clay."

Yes I did, so shut up.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was Rylan's 2nd birthday!

I don't think he fully understood that the party was all for him, but everyone seemed to have had a good time. Even Jaysen, who stayed in the room while everyone sand Happy Birthday! That was a treat. Of course, Jaysen also took command of unwrapping the presents for his little bro, but Rylan had opened a package of Matchbox cars for his first present and was pretty much oblivious to the heaping stack of other goodies awaiting.

I can't believe my baby is two.
It seems just yesterday, that he came home from the hospital. I still remember his fat little self so vividly.

Then he had the craziest red hair that stuck out all over the place.

It's still red now, but it doesn't stick out anymore.
And now, my baby is a big fat two-year old. The nerve of him. :)
There are times when I miss that little bundle of pudge, but it's so awesome to see the little person he is becoming.

Happy Birthday Rylan.

We love you so very much!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Big Pimpin'

Last week-

Monday: Jaysen informs me Bela is coming over to play on Saturday.
Tuesday: Jaysen types letter to Bela inviting her over, complete with a list of "super fun" things they're going to do.
Wednesday: Jaysen bounds off the bus after school, delicately holding a piece of paper on which Bela had written her address.
Thursday: I have to call Bela's mom to see if there really is something arranged- she told me Bela already had plans, but talks of Jaysen often and would like to arrange a playdate soon.
Friday: Jaysen has playdate with my friend's daughter.

This week-

Monday: Jaysen informs me that Alyssa is coming over to play.
Tuesday: Jaysen's plans are put on hold because he has 3 Alyssas in his class, and he can't remember which one he wants to come over.
Wednesday: Jaysen comes home with 2 phone numbers. Alyssa and Paige.
Thursday: Jaysen wants a playdate this weekend with Bela, Alyssa, and Paige.

I am SO in trouble with this one.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Autism Center

This evening, Audrey from a local Autism Center is coming out to talk to me about services they may have available to Jaysen. I was hesitant at first, because so many of the "programs" out there are either just so off the wall that I can't justify subjecting my child to them, or they're so expensive that they're just plain unattainable. I'll have to see what she suggests.

This place seems cool though. She met with my family and we discussed our concerns with Jaysen. My concerns, of course, were different than the concerns of my parents, but every concern was legitimate, and every concern was addressed.

The main one was behavior. I am able to explain (not condone) most of Jaysen's behavior, especially the perceived negative ones. This woman understood. She not only understood, but she was able to confirm my justifications, and supplement them to my parents. Very important because it's always a good thing to have a "professional" backing you up in my family. She also observed him for a half day at school, and a half day at home. Although he was a perfect angel, she said she had some good observations.

For the past couple of weeks, I was supposed to have been collecting data on Jaysen and his negative behaviors. Yeah- supposed to have been. I haven't exactly done that due to the time constraints of daily life. There was his project, Thanksgiving, this, and of course that, and where did I put that tracking chart... you get the idea. I'm hoping we'll be able to make do without it.

The plus side is Audrey really seems to like us. Which is cool because I really liked her too. Like, I want to hang out with her and have coffee. The "interview" and observation was supposed to cost $250. I was able to receive a $200 scholarship, which left a $50 balance. I was cool with that. Audrey talked to her supervisor about me and somehow had the $50 balance waived! Love. this. woman.

She gushed about how awesome Jaysen was when she observed him, told me some of the things he did that impressed her, and most importantly, she "gets" my kid, and I got nothin' but love for people who can do that so effortlessly.

So, I'm curious as to what will go on tonight- if it will be a cornucopia of options, or if she will turn into Audrey-the-dream-crusher and demand a million dollars for an experimental treatment that just may make my son grow another head. Hey- maybe that one would eat?

I also have a surprise party for my friend 'Toya tonight. If it goes horribly wrong with Audrey, I can always sail with The Captain.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Okay, let me start of by saying that I am a dork. How do I know this?
Because I forgot my shoes at home, so now I have to rock the moon-boots all day at work.
Yes, for real moon-boots.
Am awesome. I know.

Now on to the really newsworthy stuff...
It's a secret though. If Jaysen knew I was uber-proud of him, it may make him anxious and screw everything up. So find a container for your excitement and stuff all that happiness right down in there.

#1 - Jaysen has been eating Golden Grahams cereal. With milk. Together. And he likes it!

#2 - He has not taken a video tape to school with him in about a month. OMG- I KNOW!!!! Shhhh!!!! Yes- this is very exciting. I don't know what it means, but I'm trying to pretend everything is mellow like jell-o.

#3 - He is trying to arrange his own playdate. He wrote a letter to a classmate (Bella), asking her to come over on Saturday. Then he listed all the fun things they would do, such as play Mario, paint, and have a snowball fight. I will secretly call Bella's mom and see if this can actually be arranged. We'll have to work on him asking me before he just invites people over, but such trivial details...

#4 - See #1 and #2 again.

Okay- back to work.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


I was driving home a few days ago, and all of a sudden- everything made sense. Like everything. All of the uncertainties I've been having about various things- I now understand them. Such a weird feeling. Liberating.

I know why my homelife is the way it is, and it has way more to do with my bitchiness from quitting smoking.

I know the real reason Scottie contacted me after all these years. If you would have been straight up with me from the jump, we could have left out a lot of the unnecessary stuff.

I know what is holding me back from furthering myself in pursuing another career option, and why exactly it is holding me back.

I know what the things are that I need in life, what the things are that I want, and what the difference is between them.

I know what my deepest fears are, and they are not entirely what I thought they were.

And most importantly, I know who stole the cookie from the cookie jar.