Monday, November 29, 2010

He called the shit, poo.

Remember the Black Cloud o' Doom that I have inherited? The one that follows me everywhere? The one that I can't catch a break from?
Yeah....that one.
It striketh again.
And has possessed the soul of The Red One.

Friday, I noticed a little puddle on the floor of the basement. It was coming from a pipe, and since this is new construction, I have no idea which pipes lead to what, or what comes from which pipes. But it was small, I figured that with all the water I had been using, it just overshot the drain.

Oh no. I should have known better.
Because Saturday came, and there was a whole lotta water in the basement. And it stunk. Like a men's bathroom at a seedy gas station. Or Comerica Park. Or my ex-hubby. Hmm.

Upon closer inspection, it became evident that the gods of all that is freaktabular bestowed onto me, the gift of a backed up sewer. How awesome is that. So I was standing in shitwater. Literally. So disgusting.

I debated about calling the plumber that night or the next day, but when started to be able to identify what was floating in the water, I decided to call. Of course it was after hours. Of course it was a weekend. Of course it was a holiday weekend. Of course that meant a buttload of extra money. Christ-in-a-hotdog-bun.

Plumber came out from 6-8p. And $500 later, he said my pipes looked good except for the pair of underwear clogging the drain to the sewer. Oh and bytheway I'm going to have to replace the carpeting, because "that is never coming out". Wait, back up...underwear??? Um...yeah. When I was gloating about Rylan starting to potty train? Well gloating comes back to bite you in the ass. That karma thing, ya know. I was a freaking oblivious lying idiot, because he ditched his skivvies in the toilet. He has also tried to flush numerous rolls of toilet paper. Full rolls.

So he's grounded until he's 12.
And not allowed to wear underwear unless they're made of duct tape.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I wish you a caffeinated Christmas.

Hope every one's Turkey Day was superawesomefantabulous!


Know what time it is now?

Yeah, yeah, yeah...put up the tree, shopping frenzy, etc... but this is a very special time. A highly anticipated time. A holy time in the Quirk household...

It's time...for...Starbucks Christmas Blend! *gasp*

Behold a caffeinated miracle.

Isn't it....beautiful?


For those who are not aware of the Starbucks Christmas Blend...this stuff is magical, yo.
Case in point- I make some Christmas Blend, have a few cups, and ohmigawd....I want to clean my house. Top to bottom. I love this shiz.

Jaysen thinks I'm nuts.
I spent about $80 in coffee.
I just may be nuts.

But it's Starbucks Christmas Blend!
And no, I am not receiving any compensation for this post-
I just lurve. it. this. much.

Ahh... I love the holiday season.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A word on love.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” -Neil Gaiman

I love me some Neil Gaiman.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Just sayin'...

That Reese's pieces are a sad substitute for Reese's peanut butter cups.