Proud Momma

Just look at this weekly report.

In your face, Barmington.

AIM High!

First day of school here.
Usually this means I have not slept, and have probably gotten this far in my day on klonopin and coffee.

However-
Jaysen started a new school last year.

Ugh.I Know! ANOTHER NEW SCHOOL?!?!?

Yes. And this one is amazeballs.
Like bring tears to your eyes, amazeballs.
Like smack-yo-momma, make you cry, amazeballs.

I was going to keep the name of this school anon as well, but it really does deserve recognition.
AIM High is a school for kids like mine. Maybe like yours. But really, all kids would benefit from education like this.
It has literally changed his life.
And mine.

AIM is designed for kids on the Spectrum.
I was freaked out because as a private school, they "don't do" IEP's.  ACK!
In fact, there is not one Special Education teacher on staff! Not one! *cue arrhythmia and sweating*

It was explained to me that they don't need those things. The teachers (and ancillary staff) are so freaking compassionate, this is their passion in life. They don't need IEP's because the whole building is an accommodation. The way the days are laid out and the class sizes (averaging 6-10 students per class!), the individualized instruction, the support of the entire staff, and student body...it's honestly more like a huge family.

But education is still paramount. They use an evidence based education model. They have a full curriculum with core academics  as prescribed by the MMC. They have electives. They have a band. They teach life skills. They teach social skills.You can get an actual diploma and they assist in transition planning like college visits, ACT prep, and job internships. And if the student is not college-bound, they have a 5th year option for dual enrollment at a post secondary school.
They do not give up on these kids.

*Squeeeeeeeeeeee!*

The suck side is it is a tuition-based private school, and VERY expensive.
I cannot afford this school, even with financial aid. ShittyEx has agreed per decree, to a minimal contribution of less than 1/4 of expenses (Gee, thanks).
I will do everything in my power to keep Jaysen at this school, and continue to do so with the help of my family. He is absolutely worth every penny.

The principal disclosed to me, after our first year was coming to a close-
This school was created for kids like Jaysen.
Kids who are lost in the public schools despite the "support and services" they received.
Kids whom the public schools failed, and as a result, do not have an educational foundation to draw on.
He told me he was warned about Jaysen. Did he really want to take him on?? He's a lot of trouble, aggressive, "not teachable". He is "volatile" and a "behavior problem". Good luck with that kid.
The principal wanted to take a chance on him anyway. He ain't no sissy. 
A few months in, he admitted to me that Jaysen was nothing like the prior administration described. He found Jaysen to be sweet, polite, eager, hardworking...Yes, he needed help with self-regulation and managing his frustrations, but he had made so many improvements in that area already.

There were no meltdowns last year.
There were no faking sick days.
There were no tears or arguments.
There was no frustration with homework, because they do their homework after "regular school", with teacher support. I know, right?!?!?
Jaysen actually learned stuff, guys. Not only that, but he learned, retained, and applied stuff!
He was excited for school to start again this year, and that has NEVER happened.

Best.School.Ever.
AIM High School

We love this place.

Um....yeah

*Sigh*
It must be my curse in life, to not be able to laugh at hilariously funny shyt.

Case in point: 
Jaysen got in trouble in school.  Again.

When I went to school to pick him up, I asked him why he had to apologize to his teacher (who just happens to be very bright eyed, young, cute, peppy, etc.). 

He said he called her a name.

I asked him what he called her.

He hesitated, and finally said,
"Mom.......I called her........a sausage."

*blink blink*

I couldn't do anything but stare at him with this crazy look on my face, trying to suck my lower lip into my mouth, chewin' on it like the last supper, so I didn't bust out laughing. 
What made it worse, is he saw my face, and kept telling me "mom, it's not funny", while he's trying to keep a straight face too.

Oy.



Possibly related:

Little blessings bring big hopes

Omg. Sixth grade.
Crap.

*ring ring*
Caller ID says Jaysen's school
Shiiiiiiit.

Me: Hello?

Person: Hi Jaysen's mom. My name is blah blah...I'm...
*tuning out because this is probably about transportation reminder bs*
I'm Jaysen's teacher....

Me: Wait....whaaaaaat?  Teacher?  I'm sorry, I thought his teacher was Ms. E?

Teacher: Yes, Ms. E is his Resource Room teacher. I'm his homeroom teacher.
 
(pause)

Me: Ohhh.....this is his general ed teacher! Calling me? For.... Wait, who are you again? I'm sorry...

Teacher: Ms. Y. I  was wondering if you and Jaysen would like to come in to meet me and see the classroom.

(Um....his gen ed teacher is calling us in for a pre-meeting? Proactive! and Sweeeet!)

Me: Yes, yes, yes...we will be there next week, awesome yay!

Teacher: Great! I know how important it is to Jaysen, and also to ease your mind. I have a son on the Spectrum too. 

Me: *gasp* Oh, so you "get" it.

Teacher: *chuckles* Yes, I "get" it.

....Wow.

And so it begins.
The first year my son may actually be mainstreamed for real.
I'm a mix of excited, nervous, and proud.

Christmahanukkwaanzika 2011

Wishing everyone a very Happy Holiday Season!

Love,

Chez Quirk

I heart lampposts

Finally.

I was given the opportunity to review a film called Loving Lampposts: Living Autistic.  Todd Drezner takes an interesting, and refreshing approach to gain knowledge about his son's diagnosis.  I say refreshing, because this is honestly the first time I have ever seen the topic presented in a 100% unbiased, non-judgemental, and eyes fully open approach.  Drezner spends time seeking knowledge from both "recovery" and "neurodiversity" movements, presenting both sides equally, and straightforward.  And neither side presented Autism as a devastating apocalyptic disease that steals your children's souls. 

This is a really good film, peeps.
The title is personal, and reflects Drezner's son's special interest in lampposts, and his affinity for them.
It's personal and heartfelt.  The parents in this film have so much love for their children. 
I would be willing to bet there are a lot of newly-diagnosed parents out there, whom would feel much comfort and support from just this knowledge alone.  Why?  Well sure, because it has Estee and Kristina in it :), but also because it presents options.  As parents, we love options.  We may have a strong feeling toward a certain side, but as long as that option is there...we are hopeful.

Not to mention the kids in the film are downright adorable.
I think this film should be stockpiled and handed out to parents of newly diagnosed kids.
It's that good.  And that informative.
Really- that's what our goal is as parents.  We just want to make the best decisions for our children, and the way to do that is to make informed decisions.

Lampposts.
Love em.

**UPDATED**  I have received a few inquiries as to how people can obtain a copy of the DVD of their own.  I was given the following information from Cinema Libre:

For people who are interested in purchasing the DVD for private use, they can go to our website.  Here is the link - http://store.cinemalibrestore.com/lovinglamppostsdvd.html.

For people who are interested in screenings or the educational DVD, they can also visit our website – http://www.cinemalibrestore.com/educational_grassroots.html

If they have questions they can contact sales@cinemalibrestudio.com


Disclaimer: I did not receive compensation for this review.  Should anyone feel compelled to compensate me, feel free.  I would love an alpaca, or perhaps a nice garden gnome.

And lastly, this...

To catch up, part one and part two.

Thank you, everyone, for your words of comfort and support.  They really mean a lot to me.
It seems that since my freakin' fire 2 years ago, I've been hit with a barrage of crap that just has no end.  It sucks, and it is affecting me.  To know that you all are out there helps ease the crappityness of it.  So thank you.

We met with the surgeon, and apparently this is a congenital defect (because everyone needs more of that dontchaknow), and it's extremely rare.  Like less than 1% of the population has this thing kickin'.  And of course, it would happen to us.  Anyway, as it stands now, we have to wait for the infection to clear up, and surgery for excision of urachal cyst is scheduled for May 19th.  I have not told Jaysen yet, and don't plan on doing so until maybe the week of.  When I tell him, he's going to flip.  But he'll pull through, just like he did at the hospital.  I am amazed at how far he has come.  How tough he has gotten.  He is now taking 3 pills 2 of which are full sized antibiotics.  That is huge for my sensory defensive kid.  Huge. 

On a side note, I was at the Metro Parent Living With Autism seminar yesterday.  It was pretty cool.  You could just feel the love in some of those presentations.  It really warmed my heart.  I also met some cool people- Melissa Hunt-Sampey and I connected on Twitter, then she magically stopped following me later that day. Was it me?  I don't know, probably.  I met and had lunch with Staci Bockmann from My Great Kid, and I really enjoyed and found motivation in hearing how her son has blossomed in theater.  And reconnected with behavior consultant Aubry Dodge, whom I absolutely luuuuurve.  She is awesome.  I've blogged about her here, but used the pseudonym "Audrey", 'cuz I'm ultra creative like that.  Aside from the vendor who told me I must not like Jenny McCarthy because I'm jealous of her money and fame (yes, really), it was a good time.

So, that's the update. 

And then there's that...

...now with more RAGEFACE.

For the past couple days, Jaysen's been complaining of a stomach ache.  Dr. appt stated a urinary tract infection. 
Y'know that "mom-voice" that says really, I'm sure that's a lovely diagnosis, but I just don't think that's what's going on here... The one that gets you labeled as "combative" and "non-compliant"?  Yeah, well we get it for a reason, doktorz.
However, I accepted the dx under the promise they would get back with me once the culture came back from the lab. 

Saturday, we spent the night in the hospital.

When I went to pick the kids up from Companion's house (note to self: Companion possibly needs a new moniker), Jaysen was still complaining his stomach hurt, and his belly button was "dirty".  Upon inspection, the "dirt" was crusty something.  Further inspection revealed that the crusties were pus.  Lovely.

So I called the doctor again, who referred us to the outpatient pediatric clinic.
Dr. at the clinic swabbed his navel, handed the culture to me, and told us to immediately go to ER.
Whaaaaat? 
"Emergency Room" and "Immediately" are words that when used together, automatically induce terror in a parent's heart.

So we went to Emergency.  Immediately.

The doctors there were awesome. 
They were efficient, informative, and let me know every little process they were considering.  They involved me from the get go.  They understood what it meant, the issues that Jaysen's ASD may present- they explained a procedure to me, and hung back while I explained it to Jaysen (and subsequently calmed him from the freakout trigger words "needle" and "medicine"). 
They understood about processing time, and respected that.  They asked my opinion on what the best approach would be for them to get what they needed.  They took their time to explain procedures further, in steps, so I could present it to him like that.  They.were.awesome. 

And Jaysen did an awesome job of letting the doctors know where his abdomen hurt and where it didn't.  He followed directions, and responded to the questions asked of him (in his Jaysen-speak).  He toughed it out and allowed them to examine him even when it was uncomfortable, even painful for him.  Fear is a powerful sedative when it comes to Jaysen.

He was terrified of getting an IV, but he didn't try to punch the tech. 
I almost did, however, because he was one of those who have to "dig around" for the vein once inside.  Asshole.

I waited for Jaysen's adrenaline RAGEFACE to subside, and explained to him that this was where they would put any medicine he would have to take, and that was uber-cool because he wouldn't have to swallow any meds.  He was unimpressed, until the nurse was fussing around and I told him she just gave him meds, and he didn't even know it.  Then, it was kinda cool, and he wanted me to take pictures of the IV.

They wanted a CT scan.
Problem with a CT scan (besides the pesky radiation), is you have to drink this apparently nasty contrast liquid. 
And no, putting it in apple juice doesn't make it any better.

Jaysen barfed it up. Twice.
They ended up putting contrast in his IV.
I asked about mild sedation- the doctor said "I figured you could go in there if you wanted to, I don't think he'll need sedation- you have a strong connection and work very well with him.  It's really cool to see.  I think he'll be fine with you there."
Aww!  Thanks doc.  I was meaning for me. 
But he did do fine during the scan.  I did too.

So....what's up with my crazy kid?
The official diagnosis is urachal remnant.  And cellulitis.
The cellulitis is no biggie, but the urachal remnant part sounds tweakish.
Apparently, this is a congenital defect where the tract going from the bladder to the belly button does not close completely after birth.
It's this semi-open tract, that became infected.
We caught it early enough that it wasn't a deep infection, so that was good.
But it can be recurring, and if left untreated, is bad news bears.

Butchaknow what?  I am so super proud of him.
He may not have been the bravest at first, but he followed mad directions, even in spite of his sensory issues and fear.  He was a trooper at drinking his "stinky juice", and is swallowing his big antibiotic horse pills. Those are both little victories for him. 
Actually, they're pretty huge.

And I am probably going to hell, but I love that last picture...

Yes, YOU can make a difference.

This mom? 

Rocks.

April 2, turn it blue.

I do not much love Autism Speaks. 
That being said, they have a pretty cool Autism awareness campaign going on right now.
They are asking for major landmarks to Light It Up Blue, for Autism Awareness Day on April 2nd.

I do however, much love Jess, from Diary of a Mom.  She has posted an open letter to Barack Obama, encouraging him to include the White House in this campaign.  If you haven't read her letter, you should.  Like right now. 
You can find it here. 
It is a powerful piece, and I can't even begin to do it justice. 
So please, go read.  And comment. 

Awareness is so important, peeps.

My chupacabra can beat up your tiger, Charlie Sheen.

Well, Charlie Sheen has lost his effin' mind.
Seriously lost.his.everlovin'.mind, peeps.
Or is a Scientologist.

I was going to write a post about it, but then recanted, thinking I did not want to come across as insensitive- but seeing that Sheen-o-rama has swept the internets, and here, I am totally jumping on the bandwagon. Because I am a copycat like that.

The tragic thing about Mr. Sheen's mental blowout, is he is obviously a deeply troubled person, in a tailspin of self-destruction. The lighter side is he seems to be enjoying himself, and bonus there are interesting new things like the Charlie Sheen Rant Generator, Mad-Lib style. If you are ranting like he has been, it's got to be cathartic. Let's test that theory, shall we?

Here is my automatically generated rant.

“I am on a drug. It’s called The Quirk Factor. If you try it once, you will vaporize. Your uvula will melt off, and your parents will undulate over your pummelated body … I’m tired of pretending like I’m not gollyish—a total freaking nerf-herder from Jupiter. I’ve got chupacabra blood, Aphrodite DNA! … They picked a fight with a phoenix. They’re trying to take all my jawbreakers and leave me with no means to stabulate my family. It’s not botany! They owe me an apology while gyrating my tragus … I don’t think people are ready for the b'dussy I’m delivering, and delivering with a sense of fugly love. I exposed lemons to magic! Here’s your sweat test. Next one goes in your eye socket!”

Awesome. I have chupacabra blood.
I love Charlie Sheen.

On a more serious note, this is a good opportunity to show kids the possible affects of "bad choices", and that even celebrities are not immune to such things. It is interesting that he is generating a feeling of great responsibility in Us. We "know" Charlie. We feel for him. We want him to get help. We want him to be okay. We care.

But how many non-celebrity people are out there with mental illness, who We don't give a flyin' monkeyfinger about? What about the everyday people? The moms, dads, siblings, neighbours... who struggle with mental illness on a daily basis? Struggle for acceptance, treatment, and services? People whose support system doesn't have seemingly unlimited funding or don't have access to the best treatment centers. Or people who simply just don't have a support system? I do hope that We are able to use this as an awareness experience, along with other celebrities that have come out with their disabilities (I'm hurling my pride and praise at you, Mr. Apl.de.ap, from Black Eyed Peas.), and bring more awareness to our society.

Whew.
Okay, I am going to get off my soapbox and go stabulate my family with jawbreakers now.

Aww nuts.

Ah. Sensory Dysfunction.

If you don't have a child with food aversions- serious food aversions, not just picky, you really can't understand. I wish I had a picky eater. I have a seriously neophobic problem eater. And no, he won't just eat if he is hungry enough.

The best way I can describe it is if you were given a plate of pufferfish which has been encrusted with a beautiful blend of glass shards and rat poison, atop a lovely glaze of cyanide, and infused with arsenic imported from France. Would you eat it? What if your bestest friend told you you would be fine? What about your mom? Surely your own mother would not wish you harm, and she says it's okay... she only wants you to try a bite, but it's loaded with things that can maim and kill you!

Chances are, you aren't going to even take a bite. And if you do take one bite, chances are you're going to have some pretty high anxieties about it. And you probably, most certainly, would become combative if someone tried to force you to eat it.

This is kind of how many of these children view unfamiliar foods.

That being said-
We attended my uncle's 70th birthday party over the weekend. Jaysen did well because he was absorbed in his computer game. We weren't going to be there a long time, so I didn't figure we needed to bring a cache of food with us. I was probably wrong. He did say he wanted a brownie, and I was actually shocked that he ate it, since it was a homemade one.

Side thought: You can tell a neophobe's parent when they are begging their child to eat junk food... Haha.

Anyfudge-
For the record, I also had to put some grapes on his plate, apparently for show since I knew they would go untouched. So he had 2 brownies, and was jockeying for a 3rd. I told him he would have to eat some grapes first. I also noticed someone had put 2 almonds on his plate.

Jaysen...eat an almond.
No.
C'mon.... I dare you. Just one.
No.
Please?
Nothankyou.
I'll give you $20.
No!
I'll give you $100.
No.
I'll....take you to Italy.
Mom! Noooo!
Okay, okay... eat one and I'll buy you a car.
NO!

By now, we have gathered a small crowd of people complete with commentary "I'll eat an almond for $20", etc. Shut up, feckerheads. Let me irritate my son my own special way.
I digress.

If you eat one almond, I'll give you $50.
You don't have $50. Show it to me.
*Upon this statement, as if on cue, my father opens up his wallet and flashes a fifty dollar bill*
Jaysen hesitates, but then popped an almond into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed!

Ohmigawd.
I owe my child $50.
For eating one almond.

YES!
Sure, he choked and gagged, almost barfed onto my aunt's coveted carpeting, but he did it! And I am rockin' proud of him. I am also proud he suckered me out of fifty bucks (higher level thinking skills!). Well actually, my dad's the one who had to cough up the dough. I think he's learned his lesson about putting his money where my mouth is. And I will totally pay you back, Peepa.

Of course, there were people who were appalled I just gave my son money for eating such a small morsel, but those of us who have truly problem eaters, can appreciate just how big this feat was.

Not to mention he totally called my bluff and shut me down.
Well played, Pooka.

A question to the masses...

Okay. I have to ask this.
Because I am at the end of my rope.

What do you do when someone close to you just doesn't "get it"?

You know the type.
"It's not Autism...your kid is just a freakin' brat".
"You are too lax. Your kid needs stricter boundaries".
"Just force him to eat those foods". -or- "He'll eat when he's hungry".
"Don't give in to his 'shenanigans' ".
"He's very good at manipulating you".
Or the best ever... "He's faking it".

Srsly.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

So what do you say?
How can you help these people to see that this is very real?
My heart breaks when I face this, because I just don't know what to do.
I'm talking about people who love me. People whom I love.
People who really do think that they know better, think they are doing the right thing, and in Jaysen's best interest. People who believe I am coddling and defending Jaysen, and my parenting is full of suckitude.

I know what to say to a stranger, friend, or even acquaintance- but not to someone this close. Someone whose feelings are way fragile, and takes everything personally.

Ugh.

I know I'm not the first to experience this, so I am asking for any advice or help that anyone has. Violence is not an option.

*still holding*

Just a quick blurb here...more like a rant really...

I have to say that it irritates me to no end when people know Jaysen is med-free, and any little behavioral glitch (or big one), the first thing out of their mouths is, "time to go back on meds?"

Really?
Because had you not known he was off meds, you would have thought he was just having a "rough day". But when he's off meds, we almost look for things to go wrong. We want to find them and blame them on something. If it's worse off meds, then it can be fixed by meds, and if meds can fix him....
If you really paid attention to him closely, and not just when he is off of the meds- you would notice that the behaviors and attitudes that are so glaringly obvious to you now? He was doing 2-3 weeks ago. A month ago. Last year. On meds.
So, no.

I will, however, be revisiting the issue with his psychiatrist- who by the way, isn't you... to discuss his medication situation.

Thank you, Detroit.

*holding my breath*

Because we all know I just miss the Mom of the Year award by thismuch every year...

I was noticing Jaysen was running low on his meds. And by running low, I mean holy shit-potatoes Batman, I should have refilled this 3 days ago. So I jet on over to the pharmacy. As I was entering the store, something made me look down. Know what I saw???

-NO REFILLS-

Oh my effing Buddha burrito.
You've GOT to be shitting me.
Nope. Not shitting me.

Okay. I can handle this. Let's think. Yeah, wake up other half of brain...
Rational Me: Ohai! I'm here.
Me: Kay. I totally need you. Jaysen's outta meds. His behavior has been really tweaky lately- which means possibly, there needs to be a med re-eval. Possibly a different med? Maybe we should just see how he does off of them?
RM: Are. You. Kidding. Me? Don't you remember the last time you did this, and he was bonkers? Hyper like a spider monkey washing down crack with a Mountain Dew? Hyper like stayed up all night? Hyper like pulling couch cushions off constantly, and nobody had anywhere to sit?
Me: Yeah, but he's got one pill left... I could split it and get one day out of it...
RM: Or... you could call the doctor to call in a week's worth until you can get him in.
Me: But the weight gain and blood draws...
RM: The physical aggression... he's big now. That punch would hurt. For real.
Me: ...yeah... Okay, I'll give it a few days and really watch him.
RM: Oy...

So... we're on day 4 of no meds.
I can report that there is little to no difference.
I can also report that there have been some instances where he would usually "go off", and he has started to, but then walked away, and returned calmer.

Example: He was playing a video game that was frustrating him. He did some self harming, hitting and biting (keep in mind he was doing these sib's prior to no meds), but then he got up from the game, went outside and got the mail from the mailbox, came back in the house, and turned off the game, and watched TV instead.

*blink blink* I know.

Another example? I received word from Jaysen's camp counselor that while at the park... "Jaysen was threatened by another (non-camper) boy. Jaysen handled the situation wonderfully."

*huge proud cheesy grin*

Keep him in your thoughts as we fare through this interesting trial!

SIBs suck.

Some of you will immediately recognize the following.
Others, I hope will understand why sometimes the circles under my eyes are so dark, or why I may seem preoccupied...

What would you do...... if you noticed marks on your child's body like this?

Or this?.........

Now.....what if the marks were self-inflicted?

No matter how seasoned I become as a parent, SIBs (Self Injurious Behaviors) are still one of the most heart-wrenching things for me to witness. This is not the first time for us, nor is it the last, but it never gets easier no matter how many times you bear witness to your child self harming.

Jaysen's frustration and anxiety, coupled with his inability to self-regulate, create an emotional abattoir to which the only acceptable release is to launch into a physical attack on himself. Usually the incidents are short-lived, but with repeated blows, he carries the bruises for days, if not weeks.

My heart carries the trauma much longer.

The part that tears me apart is, I am utterly helpless. I can't help him. I can't stop him. I can't make it better, or take the pain away. I can only try to keep him safe at the time. Try to make sure there is as minimal damage inflicted as possible.

Because I know I am not alone in dealing with this...

Extra love to you all dealing with the same.

It's getting dark in here.

I can't seem to find the time lately, to stay up on posting.
I read all of your blogs, yet can't find the energy to make entries on this one.
Ugh.

There's a lot of things going on now- most of them not very good.
For example, my kids have been abducted by aliens and replaced with sassy, back-talking, fighting, aggressive heathens. Jaysen is losing his freakin' mind and Rylan is following in the footsteps of his big brother.

The.Effing.Games.
Jaysen is obsessed with getting a Gameboy Color, now.
Apparently, he neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds one.
Or he may die.
Or hate me for life.

He has a Wii and a DS, so said child is by no means deprived.
The Gameboy is relatively cheap (used), but I have no idea how much the games are.
The kicker is, he just wants it for one game.
Mario something-or-other.
That he has for the DS, but it's available for a Gameboy, so now he wants to play it on a Gameboy.

I do not want to purchase a Gameboy just so he can play this one game.

Reason number two is, The Games? They bring out The Crazy in him.
Seriously.
If he is playing a game and something doesn't go as planned, this boy will Lose.His.Shit.
He's going to give himself a stroke.

He starts tantrumming, redfaced, screaming, tears, jumping up and down like the Holy Ghost is in him, and becomes self-injurious and destructive. He's even starting to leave bruises on his face from the SIBs. And they're way more intense than before.

It's not a typical Jaysen-ASD-style-Tantrum though. These are quick. Almost out of nowhere. An intense burst of raw anger. So much anger. So out of control.
It's not only no fun, it's scary.
I know it's coming from somewhere- that he's trying to tell me something that I'm just not connecting with- but I'm at such a loss.

He's also been acting out in school, destroying things when he gets angry or upset, so it's pretty much across the board, and not just at home.

The only thing I got for Mother's Day, was a painting he did in school.
Yesterday, he ripped it to shreds because I told him he needed to calm down if he wanted to continue his Wii game.

Nice, thanks.

My hand is killing me.
You cannot even imagine how much this nerve damage stuff hurts.
So now I have to deal with The Crazy, on top of The Frankenhand.

I am holding fast to the idea that there is someone out there who has a voodoo doll of me, and is abusing the hell out of it.

If you see them, please poke them with sticks until they stop.
I would totally do it for you.

Carnival's up!

Pssst...
Go check out the blog carnival over at TherExtras.

CafePress and Autism awareness efforts

I'm torn.
I love CafePress. I mean love.
I have many of their products.
CafePress is having a promotion in acknowledgement of Autism Awareness month.
A portion of the proceeds for their "Autism gear" will go to Autism Speaks.
Yeah, Autism Speaks.

At first, I was all "heck no, I can't support that".
Then I was all "I wonder why they chose Autism Speaks"?
Now I'm all "I wonder if they even know anything about Autism Speaks versus any other Autism organization such as the ASAN or Autism Society?"

I've decided to post this anyway, because as an Autism advocate, I feel it is my job to help educate. I sent a response email to the woman who originally contacted me, asking why CafePress decided to support Autism Speaks (among other things). Sadly, I have not received a response as of yet.

So.
You may support Autism Speaks. You may not.
It's obviously your choice to make.
It's also your choice whether to buy from CafePress during this promotion or not.
Maybe even shoot them an email. I did.

Pajama Jam

Tonight there's a Pajama Jam at Jaysen's school. He told me this morning that he'd like to go. I am thrilled with this, as it took some goading with the promise of plastic baby cakes to get him to attend last year's Mardi Gras event.

He's excited.
He's super excited to show all of his friends his new Super Paper Mario pajamas.
The pajamas we just got, because he had to have them to replace the ones lost in the fire.
The pajamas that we got a whole size smaller than he really wears, because that's the biggest size they had. In any pajama.
The pajamas that are skin tight and show his belly.
The pajamas I am desperately trying to talk him out of wearing, with no luck at all.
He's excited.

Jaysen lacks the social awareness of knowing the difference of people laughing with him, or at him. He has "friends" who are backhandedly mean to him. Frenemies. I really don't think wearing these ill-fitting jammas are going to turn out well for him. I'm going to try and talk him into wearing a long hoodie or something, but I know he'll claim he's hot, and want to take it off. To show off his jammas that his kid brother could almost fit into. He has other Mario jammas, but these are new. And they're Super Paper Mario. And he lurvs them. He's even made sure they will be clean for tonight.

And it's not just the lack of social awareness. I remember being teased mercilessly as a kid. It can destroy a person. And it almost did. I don't want my son to be that kid. The reality is, he's going to get teased anyway. I don't want to give kids any more fuel than they already have. I do not want kids to whisper "hey- that's the kid who came to the Pajama Jam in third grade, with the jammas that his mom cut the elastic on so he could breathe...". It's like the kid with the holey underwear. Or the stinky kid. Ugh. I'm mortified already.

The silver lining?
The party is over at 8pm. When we get home, he'll already be in jammas.
Sweet.