Friday, February 26, 2010

Pajama Jam

Tonight there's a Pajama Jam at Jaysen's school. He told me this morning that he'd like to go. I am thrilled with this, as it took some goading with the promise of plastic baby cakes to get him to attend last year's Mardi Gras event.

He's excited.
He's super excited to show all of his friends his new Super Paper Mario pajamas.
The pajamas we just got, because he had to have them to replace the ones lost in the fire.
The pajamas that we got a whole size smaller than he really wears, because that's the biggest size they had. In any pajama.
The pajamas that are skin tight and show his belly.
The pajamas I am desperately trying to talk him out of wearing, with no luck at all.
He's excited.

Jaysen lacks the social awareness of knowing the difference of people laughing with him, or at him. He has "friends" who are backhandedly mean to him. Frenemies. I really don't think wearing these ill-fitting jammas are going to turn out well for him. I'm going to try and talk him into wearing a long hoodie or something, but I know he'll claim he's hot, and want to take it off. To show off his jammas that his kid brother could almost fit into. He has other Mario jammas, but these are new. And they're Super Paper Mario. And he lurvs them. He's even made sure they will be clean for tonight.

And it's not just the lack of social awareness. I remember being teased mercilessly as a kid. It can destroy a person. And it almost did. I don't want my son to be that kid. The reality is, he's going to get teased anyway. I don't want to give kids any more fuel than they already have. I do not want kids to whisper "hey- that's the kid who came to the Pajama Jam in third grade, with the jammas that his mom cut the elastic on so he could breathe...". It's like the kid with the holey underwear. Or the stinky kid. Ugh. I'm mortified already.

The silver lining?
The party is over at 8pm. When we get home, he'll already be in jammas.


TC said...

So I put up some photos on my blog today. They were of my quirky boy, N, accepting an award at school (and one of him waiting beforehand). He was too freaked out about the award to just stand there like the rest of the kids, so he hid behind his award...of course, garnering more stares than he would have otherwise.

The one of him waiting beforehand shows him with his jacket pulled up over his head, and a baseball cap (it was sports day) on top of it. I showed it to him to ask if he did that because he was trying to be silly, or because he was scared. I couldn't get an answer, because he started screaming for me to get rid of that photo. "I don't like it!" he yelled. "It makes me feel embarrassed of myself!"

I guess it's the first step toward awareness, and I guess it will be good for him in the end, if he stops doing things that call negative attention to him. But the awareness made me almost as sad as the lack of it did.

It's hard.

How did the party go?

mommy~dearest said...

Sounds sooo familiar with the hiding. :)

The party was great. Jaysen and a friend were running around playing this game of cat n mouse for about an hour. Then a teacher approached Jaysen and told him to stop running. Wrecked his night. He sat at the snack table all crotchety, and asked if we could leave. So- it was good up until that point. But still- no meltdown, which is awesome.

Ashley's Mom said...

My 17 year old with Aspberger's is still that way. He has no concept or social awareness that his peers are making fun of him. He talks about all his friends, but there really aren't.

I have struggled for years to find a way to help him, but so far no luck....

When you discover the secret, please let me know!