Tuesday, January 26, 2010


When I discovered just how literal people with Autism could be, I made a parental vow. I vowed that I would never lie to my son. I really just thought I would rather not confuse him, and keep things real.

Sure it could get sticky with all the wondrous magic of childhood, but really? I grew up without Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, and I turned out okay. Alright, it's debatable.

Anyhoo, I've managed to keep that vow by creative explanations and good ol' fashioned deception.
Jaysen asked me this year if Santa was real. My response to him was "What do you think?" To which he replied "I dunno" and he left it with that.
While I evaded, I did not lie.

Yup. I'm not going to lie to my kid.
Boy...am I regretting that decision at this moment.
(This has nothing to do with Santa, bytheway)

While I've been very open and upfront with body parts and their names and functions, here's a conversation I never thought I would have with my 8 year old son.

*note to the squeamish- turn back now. For those of you whom like to see me writhe, read on.*

I'm in the bathroom minding, well doing, my business. The door opens and Jaysen walks in- 'cuz that's just how I roll. If the door is locked, it's probably more business than I care to share with anyone. But it wasn't that kind of business.

Jaysen: Mom? What's dat ting?
Me: What thing, honey?
Jaysen: Dat... ting. Da ting you put in dere. (pointing to my panty-entangled knees)
Me: *ohcrap* I don't know what you mean, sweetie. Did you finish your DS game?
Jaysen: Mom. Dat ting! You frow it inna toilet.
Me: Bear. I can guarantee you there is nothing in the toilet except pee and toilet paper.
Jaysen: *sigh* like dis, Mom... *my son proceeds to draw a long rectangle in the air with his finger, then does a little squat and slaps his hand in between his legs*
Me: ......... *note- I am not on my period, so this is catching me way off-guard*
Jaysen: What's dat ting?
Me: Oh. That's just a pad. Are you ready for jammas?
Jaysen: What's a pad?
Me: .........
Jaysen: It's like dis. *repeats drawing in air, complete with crotch slap*
Me: Yeah.... Jaysen, I don't know if I want to tell you. I mean, I can tell you, but it's kinda gross. If you really want to know, I'll tell you. I think. Maybe.
Jaysen: Yes! I wanna know!
Me: *mentally looking for any out possible* Are you sure? You really have to listen.
Jaysen: Yes, Mom. I really wanna know.
Me: Okay... see, when kids start to become adults, there's a thing called puberty.
Jaysen: What's dat?
Me: Puberty means different things to different people. Boys may start to grow hair on their lip, girls may start to get breasts, both boys and girls may start to get hair on their legs and armpits. Are you sure you really want to know? You have to pay attention if you're making me do this.
Jaysen: *laughing* Okay.
Me: So, one thing that happens to a girl, is she gets what's called her period. *waiting for the lightbulb to come on...hoping this is enough...crap, it's not coming on* A period is when a girl bleeds from her vagina.
Jaysen: *eyes as big as Jupiter* Gasp! Oh no!
Me: It's okay, it doesn't hurt the girl (okay, so maybe I do lie to him). But that's why we use pads and tampons.
Jaysen: What's a tampon?
Me: *why do I never know when to shut my mouf?* Same thing as a pad.
Jaysen: Mom? Boys get periods?
Me: No, sweetie. Only girls.
Jaysen: Whoo-hoo!
Me: *yeah, no shit*

So, if you have boys and thought you were safe from this conversation... think again.

*And for the record, I do not throw any of the aforementioned supplementary aids into the toilet*
Thank you for not going all enviro-crazy.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

How all IEP's should go...

Ahh... Jaysen's IEP.
Have I mentioned how much I lurve this school?

Even my dad was amazed.
He's been my "note taker" at Jaysen's IEP's since the beginning. When we left, he was shocked that he only had a half page of notes. He had turned back in his notebook, and counted 16 pages from an IEP at the crapalicious school.

We did the MET and the IEP, and were out in 2 hours. I've had IEP meetings last 6 months.

I honestly feel for parents out there, fighting these battles for their children's education. I was there. I fought a losing battle in vain. But this school's Team, is a team. And I am absolutely a part of it. Every person on that team has Jaysen's best interest at heart, and I can't even describe that feeling.

The psychologist presented charts that show Jaysen's progress. He's spending more time in Gen.Ed, only coming out for his scheduled Resource Room time and therapy time. His physical aggression has decreased greatly- so much so that now the next step is to work on the verbal outbursts (screaming, crying, disruption, etc).

Even though he's making such progress this year, his services stay. Every one of them.
That is awesome.
It takes a good system to realise that you don't pull supports at the first signs of improvement.

And it's not like Jaysen turned into this WonderKid. There are definitely weaknesses and issues, but they were presented in a concerned manner, not a blaming or threatening one. We discussed them, and everyone presented their thoughts about them. Then we agreed on a plan to best address them.

I was going to ask for more OT, to address Jaysen's self-regulation issues (or lack thereof), but his goals were tweaked to include that from the superfantastical social worker. I don't really care who provides the support, as long as it's provided from a competent individual. So I was happy with that. Compromise really does happen!
And the best, best part? All of the updated goals were implemented that very same day.
I know!

I did get one nugget of bad news though. They're closing some schools in our district, and while Jaysen's school isn't scheduled to close, it will bring in tons of other kids to his school. His Sp.Ed teacher is allowed 18 kids on her caseload. She has 12 now. She feels strongly about keeping Jaysen on her caseload (love this teacher!), but she broke it to me that this may mean he will not be able to go to the middle school following this elementary. We would have to go back to our "home" school, which I will fight with Xena armor.

Home is still a little different of a story-
I'm still trying to figure out when my son became such a moody whiner?
Seriously, this kid is crabbin' ALL the time.
I swear he has PMS.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Things my son says, part 3.14

The scenario: McDonald's playplace. Jaysen and I are ready to go. Rylan doesn't want to leave.

"Okay Jaysen, we need a plan".
"Here's the plan. When Rylan comes down the slide, you grab him and I'll whip his coat on".
"Yeah! And if Plan A fails, we're gonna bust out with Plan B!"

Did my son just say "We're gonna bust out with Plan B?"

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Vote! Vote! Vote!

The Friendship Circle is a wonderful organization.
My son receives services from there- his mentor? Friendship Circle.
Recently acquired bubble-tube? Friendship Circle.
Sensory rooms for drop in? Friendship Circle.
Social skill groups? Friendship Circle.
Place of 100% acceptance? Friendship Circle.

They offer so many services, for kids of all ages and abilities- they even have services for non-disabled siblings. It's difficult to even begin to tell you how awesome this place is.

Here's a link the their website so you can see their awesomeness: Friendship Circle

And now... the Friendship Circle is in a contest to will big buckeroos from Chase Bank.
Please go here and help them win! Voting ends January 22, so go there now. Now! :)

Jaysen, and all of the other kids that benefit from this wonderful place, thank you!

Prayers for Diana

I anticipated writing about Jaysen's IEP this morning, but that will have to wait.

My friend's daughter was in a car accident this morning, and was airlifted to Toledo. She is in a coma. Please send thoughts and prayers in hopes of speedy recovery for Diana.


Diana came out of the coma this afternoon, and is doing surprisingly well. Her CT scan came back clean, and they may release her tomorrow. A bit soon if you ask me, but I'm not a doctor. Obviously.

Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, and support.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Heebie Jeebies

Jaysen's got 'em.
Last weekend, it was Rylan who was barfing all over the place - and I mean all over the place in the most literal sense.

Since this afternoon, Jaysen's been puking, and has the 'rrhea (cha-cha-cha).
He's not complaining of a stomach ache, headache, or dizziness. He's really pale, and cold.
Not the chills cold, I mean cold to the touch.

I had him in a tepid bath, which helped the coldness, but I can't get him to drink tea, or anything else that may help ease his tummy.

At 6:30pm, he put himself to bed.
Right now he's watching the movie Up, and is just resting.

And what is it about "lucidity" and ASD kids when they're sick?
Does anyone else have experiences with that?
I know they've done studies on fevers and ASD- I find it bizarrely intriguing.

Aw. Feel better, baby.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Oooh, that smell...

Oh yes.
The familiar scent around this time of year.
You know what I'm talking about.
It's IEP time, folks.

We've been through some Hades with our school district in the past.
Since the transfer to "The Good School", IEP's have truly felt like a Team effort, and most importantly focused on Jaysen's benefit.

I've transformed from crazed, legalese-speaking, wild-eyed, Momzilla- where I would prepare weeks in advance, and stay up the night before til the wee hours just to make sure I had every legal angle covered, every defense in line, and a counter for every excuse. You've never seen the crazed Momzilla? Watch the movie The Hunger. It's kinda like that. Only more terrifying.
To a more relaxed, even-keeled and focused Team member. I've even been known to watch TV the night before IEP.

It was niiiiiiice.

Until I got the invitation to the IEP.
Now the stress and anxiety is starting to creep in.
Jaysen's IEP's have been annual reviews.
This one is a redetermination IEP.
I? Have no idea what that means.

I thought redetermination meetings were to re-determine if said child still qualifies for special education and said services.
If they're putting their toe in the water to test if he would be okay without Sp.Ed, they better put that damn toe back where it came from, before I mangle it until they spew toe-jam when they cough.

Which got me to thinking.
Jaysen really doesn't get a whole lot of services.
He gets a parapro (Yay! And dammit, I earned her!), modified assignments, and Speech once a week.

What he would really benefit from is OT, but since there's "no gross or fine motor deficits, the district will only provide OT on a consult basis." And Psych/Social Work, but I guess they "don't do individual therapy in school". Apparently it's mixing church and state(of mind).

While we're on things that benefit my incredibly handsome son, is now the time to start taking a more scrutinizing look at the things that will help him with life skills? I don't mean the skillz he learns at home, but real world skills. He's in the middle of third grade. Third grade is HUGE. It's all downhill from here.

It will be interesting if my hackles rise up.
I've never had to go toe-to-toe with this school before.
And my jujitsu is rusty.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Sick.

We have it.

I have never been barfed upon so many times, as I was today.
After washing and changing the sheets on five beds and multiple articles of clothing, I gave up.
Am gross.

Send chicken soup for my soul.

Monday, January 4, 2010

A love letter to LuShae...

And now for something completely different for my blog!

Today, I'm reviewing LuShae Jewelry.
Me? A review?
Um... sure! I mean it's gotta be my civic duty or something, right?

Let's get down to it, shall we?

I chose a ring that I would actually wear, and being the tough critic that I am- I vowed to give an unforgivingly honest review.

The Peridot Paradise Ring.

It arrived today.

And let me tell you.... first impression?

The stone is beautifully cut and sparkly.
The setting is secure.
The rhodium bond band looks delicate yet sturdy, and is smooth and ultra shiny.
Like chrome shiny.
The ring itself has a really nice total weight.
It is also true to size, and extremely comfortable to wear.
The best thing is that I have super sensitive skin- and this ring did not irritate me in any way.
In fact, the only down side is that I envisioned the Peridot Paradise as a right-hand ring, but they didn't have the size I wanted in stock, and I had to order a size down. So I have to wear it on my left hand. Which is okay- I mean it's not like I have any other sparkly ring over there for it to compete with, ya know?

Did I mention it's sparkly?
Reeeeeally sparkly?

They have a bunch of other fabulous products for under $100.
Actually, I think everything they have is under $100 right now.
Seriously- these had me almost wishing I could wear regular earrings.

The website is chock full of information about their jewelry also- everything you would need to know, from jewelry basics to how to care for your jewelry.

And you should totally check them out.
'Cuz my birthday is coming up.

Please note that I did not receive any monetary compensation for this review. It is my honest opinion, and in my own words. I would like to thank LuShae Jewelry for the product, and for the opportunity to participate in this review.