Wednesday, March 2, 2011

My chupacabra can beat up your tiger, Charlie Sheen.

Well, Charlie Sheen has lost his effin' mind.
Seriously lost.his.everlovin'.mind, peeps.
Or is a Scientologist.

I was going to write a post about it, but then recanted, thinking I did not want to come across as insensitive- but seeing that Sheen-o-rama has swept the internets, and here, I am totally jumping on the bandwagon. Because I am a copycat like that.

The tragic thing about Mr. Sheen's mental blowout, is he is obviously a deeply troubled person, in a tailspin of self-destruction. The lighter side is he seems to be enjoying himself, and bonus there are interesting new things like the Charlie Sheen Rant Generator, Mad-Lib style. If you are ranting like he has been, it's got to be cathartic. Let's test that theory, shall we?

Here is my automatically generated rant.

“I am on a drug. It’s called The Quirk Factor. If you try it once, you will vaporize. Your uvula will melt off, and your parents will undulate over your pummelated body … I’m tired of pretending like I’m not gollyish—a total freaking nerf-herder from Jupiter. I’ve got chupacabra blood, Aphrodite DNA! … They picked a fight with a phoenix. They’re trying to take all my jawbreakers and leave me with no means to stabulate my family. It’s not botany! They owe me an apology while gyrating my tragus … I don’t think people are ready for the b'dussy I’m delivering, and delivering with a sense of fugly love. I exposed lemons to magic! Here’s your sweat test. Next one goes in your eye socket!”

Awesome. I have chupacabra blood.
I love Charlie Sheen.

On a more serious note, this is a good opportunity to show kids the possible affects of "bad choices", and that even celebrities are not immune to such things. It is interesting that he is generating a feeling of great responsibility in Us. We "know" Charlie. We feel for him. We want him to get help. We want him to be okay. We care.

But how many non-celebrity people are out there with mental illness, who We don't give a flyin' monkeyfinger about? What about the everyday people? The moms, dads, siblings, neighbours... who struggle with mental illness on a daily basis? Struggle for acceptance, treatment, and services? People whose support system doesn't have seemingly unlimited funding or don't have access to the best treatment centers. Or people who simply just don't have a support system? I do hope that We are able to use this as an awareness experience, along with other celebrities that have come out with their disabilities (I'm hurling my pride and praise at you, Mr., from Black Eyed Peas.), and bring more awareness to our society.

Okay, I am going to get off my soapbox and go stabulate my family with jawbreakers now.


Corabelle said...

You've got Tiger blood for sure!
:) thanks for the Link-back. and for posting the Rant Generator. ;) Ace!

Anonymous said...

Winning is the key word. It's just how you take it. Although he may be in a tailspin, he lost something dearly. Every time you lose something dearly in your life it sucks. It's harder for some people to adjust. Even though he has just lost his mind... SJM

mommy~dearest said...

@ Anon- Or perhaps he just fried his fucking brain "bangin' 7 gram rocks".

Anonymous said...


mommy~dearest said...

He's bi-winning.

Joeymom said...

It's sad. If rich people like Charlie Sheen can't get proper services, how are we little guys with mundane, human blood and DNA supposed to get any?

mommy~dearest said...

We must harness The Sheen and make him tell us what he knows.

**Ohmigawd- scary thought alert-**
What if... Charlie Sheen and Jenny McCarthy had a baby?
Would it be a Crystal Child with Tiger Blood? What if it went horribly awry and came out a Tiger Child with Crystal Blood?

We owe it to humanity to research this.