Thursday, July 5, 2007

Angst In My Pants.

As I've stated before, my Mom had difficulty "getting" Jaysen. Whether it be his behaviors, his rituals, or whatever, she doesn't seem to understand that things are going to be different with him.

I called home to check on the kids this afternoon, and she reported that everything was fine, but they were at her house because they needed a "change of pace". Okay- the reason my Mom prefers to have Jaysen at her house is because she feels she has better control over him there. She thinks that he rules my house, and if he is not on his home turf, he will be more compliant. She says it works, I say whatever. That's a whole other topic.

Anyway, I asked why they needed a change of pace- what happened? She replied, "oh nothing, Jaysen hit me a few times this morning, but he said he was sorry, so it was okay". This sends my heart plummeting into my stomach for a number of reasons. Keeping in mind that Moppi doesn't "get" Jaysen- is she doing something to promote his anxiety, causing him to lash out physically again? Or- is the physical aggression coming back for no apparent reason? If the latter is the case, we have a problem again. I am really trying to work with him on his expressive skills, in hopes of avoiding a med increase.

The thing is, he only seems to be physically aggressive with her lately. At home, we've seen frustration, and the beginnings of what would at one time have been a meltdown- but it hasn't come near the point of Ninja-in-Training in the past two months.

I hate not being home to see the whole picture. I hate having to get things second hand, and quite often the one-sided biased version of things. I don't know what to do to rectify this, considering I have to work, can't afford childcare, and my Mom doesn't listen to the advice I give her on dealing with Jaysen. He is so often misunderstood, that I feel like it's not fair to discipline him for something that may have been a misinterpretation, and he really didn't do anything wrong. Still- the fact that he is hitting again is wrong. Now I just have to figure out why we're travelling down that road again, and how I can get him back on the road to progress.

As far as my Mom- she's just going to have to realize that the road has bifurcated. Now it's up to her to make a choice. Either she is going to stay in the denial phase of loss, or she can move on and try to understand what is going on with Jaysen. Not what's going on with the kids in the ASD books, but really trying to make a connection with her grandson.

1 comment:

Kirsten said...

Wow, it sounds like you are having a tough time. Reading through your blog has made really admire you for all that you are doing. Chin up darlin' your mom will get it sooner or later!