Freedom of Religion

I have spoken in the past, about our motley crew when it comes to religious/spiritual views here at the Casa de Quirk. Or have I? I don't know. I really don't remember. However, while decorating our tree this afternoon...

Jaysen: Mommy? Are you Christian?
Me: No... are you?
Jaysen: Yes.
Me: (erp?)
Jaysen: Do you celebrate Christmas?
Me: Um, yeah... kind of...
Jaysen: If you celebrate Christmas, then you're Christian.
Companion: Are Moppi and Peepa Christian?
Jaysen: No, they don't celebrate Christmas. They're Jewish.
Me: .................
Companion: Well, we celebrate the feeling of Christmas. People being nice to each other.
Me: Yeah (omg, nice save!), It's called the holiday spirit.
Me: Do you know who is Christian? Gramma. She can probably answer any questions you may have. See, Christians believe in Jesus Christ. Do you know who Jesus is?
Jaysen: Mom. I'm playing Sonic.
Me: *whew*

And today?
Today is the day that I found out my son is apparently Christian.
Oy.

Do NOT overreact.

Because Jaysen does NOT appreciate a huge "deal" being made over, well, pretty much anything. He is not one to accept your typical positive reinforcement- instead preferring just a simple "good job", or a thumbs up.

Perhaps it's the strange ways one's face contorts itself in the process of showing extreme excitement? The natural rise in pitch of the voice? Or perhaps, and more probably, you just look like a flippin' idiot? I really don't know.

But! And I say this as excitedly-calmingly-monotone as possible...
Jaysen is wiping his own butt.

Jaysen is wiping his own butt!!!!

My kid, complete with sensory issues, who is deathly afraid of getting poop on his fingers- is using wipes, and actually wiping his own butt! And? He's doing a good job! And? He totally won't even let me help anymore. Whoo hoo!!!

Crizzap. Sorry, J.
But seriously, after 8 years of being the designated booty-wiper, I am just SO proud of you!

Yay!!!
I mean, yay.

Big brothers are the best.

Since I don't actually have a big brother, I just have to assume that big brothers are the best, from watching my own heathens.
However, I am a big sister, and also am the best- so it totally must be true.

Case in point:
Me: C'mon Rylan, take your medicine.
Ry: No fankyu. I don' like medicine.
Me: I know, but it will help you feel better.
Ry: I said NO! I do not love medicine!
Me: Ry... here ya go. *big cheesy encouraging smile* Drink it up!
Ry: I DO NOT love medicine!
Me: ...I'll give you a Tootsie Roll?
Ry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Me: *No Tootsie Roll? Shit, now what do I do???*

Me: Jaysen! Come here and see if you can get your brother to take this medicine.

Jaysen: Here Rylan, take your medicine...
Ry: Okay. *takes medicine*

*sigh*

Although last night, Jaysen goaded Rylan into taking his medicine by first making the med cup into a puppet and saying "Hi Rylan! I want to be in your body!" and when that didn't work, resorted to, "If you don't take your medicine, a big scary monster will come and eat you".

Nice.

'Cuz life keeps getting awesome-er. er. er. er. er.

I am going completely batshit insane.
The temporary housing agency called this afternoon, to give me my move out date.
Yeah. Any guesses?
December 31st.

Well Happy Holidays and get.the.hell.out.

For those of you new to my blog, my house burned down in June, and we've been living in a temporary house until mine can be rebuilt. My house hasn't even been demolished yet, let alone starting a rebuild.

Perfuckt.

So... it's contest time!
All you have to do is leave a comment, and I will pick a lucky winner.
The winner gets...my family!
Yes! We will move in and take over your very own house.
We don't eat much. Well, Rylan and I do, but Jaysen totally balances that out with all of his (non)eating issues.
C'mon... it'll be fun! We can have pillow fights, and I can use up all your hot water with my uber long and insanely hot showers.
See? Fun!

Damn you Murphy. Damn you to Hell-o Kitty.

What is it with the damn bus?

Yes... we're having issues with the bus again.
Ugh. The bussssss.
What is it with fricken busses?

When school started, I was so geeked that Jaysen had the same bus driver from last year. I'll call him Cleatus, because well, he just looks like a Cleatus to me. Sure he was a little rough around the edges and interacted totally inappropriately with my child- but once I talked with him, he was a gem. An old, crotchety, softhearted gem. And he became awesome with my son.

Two weeks into school, they changed his driver.
The transportation department said I would love the new driver. She's been driving Sp.Ed kids for 17 years, and loves the kids like they were her own. I protested, and said I wanted Cleatus. The transportation lady was silent for a minute, then managed to stumble out "You...like Cleatus? Really?" Yes. Really.

Let's just say that Jaysen's been through no less than five bus drivers so far.
Not only has he been through five drivers- nobody can manage to get him to school on time. School starts at 8:13 (8:13? Yes. I know.). Jaysen is the first pick up on the stop. The bus is supposed to be here between 7:35 and 7:45.

On days the bus does come, I have to listen to his latest driver bitch about the wheelchair she has to tie down on her prior stop at the high school, and how things are only going to get worse in the winter. This route is impossible, according to her. Funny- Cleatus did it.

Jaysen's teacher is aware of the tardiness of the bus, and has contacted the transportation department. I have contacted the transportation department. Bus driver changes, but he's still late.

Lateness is unacceptable to Jaysen. If he can't start his day with the rest of his class, it has the potential to blow his whole day. Seriously. His whole day.

I had to drive him today. Again.
When we walked into the school, the students were singing the school song. Jaysen said "oh no!" and bolted faster than a jackrabbit craps a stick of butter. I followed him around the corner and almost ran into his Sp.Ed teacher. She gave me that knowing look and told me it was okay- that he made it. He had ran to his classroom so he could say the pledge with his classmates. That is the official starting point of the day, apparently.

Anyway- I contacted the Director of Sp.Ed again, to let her know the transportation issue was still not resolved. Blah, blah, blah...

Y'know what got their attention?
I researched that according to their policies and procedures (thank you online school information), it states that in certain circumstances, arrangements with the parent may be made for transportation reimbursement. So, I informed them that should this continue, by next week, I will transport my son myself, and seek mileage reimbursement.

He had a new route in 2 hours.
Not just a new driver, but a new route.

2009 - District:0 Momzilla:1

True love...again.

My kids were not invited to my sister's wedding.
What?!? You didn't know my sister got married?
Hmm... must've forgot to mention it.

ANYway...

We have 2 parties this weekend for the newlydreads, and I had to prepare Jaysen.
I knew he was going to have difficulty understanding that yes, Sissy is now married, and sorry, but nobody told you.


"Who is Sissy marry?"
"She married DB."

"Mommy... who did you married?"
"I married... your Dad."
"My Dad? My Daddy?
*shiver* "Yes, your daddy."

"Mommy... why did you married Daddy?"
*oh.my.buddha.on.a.half.shell- choke back the bile, choke back the bile.*
"Well, I married your Daddy because..*holycrap I really think I'm gonna barf*..we were in love."


"I'm going to get married."
"Yeah? Maybe one day you will..."
"No, I'm going to married Marissa."
"Marissa from your class?"
"Yep. We're falling in love."
"Uhh... Does Marissa know that?"
"We are in loooooooooove!"
".....Oh."

And then he began to practice how he was going to ask Marissa to marry him.
Hope she knows how to make mac-n-cheese.

10 inches!

NOT what I am talking about, you pervy little pervertons...
Better late than never, but I gots me a spiffy new haircut.
And yes, I really did get ten inches lopped off.

Midlife crisis? Diversionary tactic? Crazy? I dunno. You decide.

Pardon the phone, but seriously how else so you take a pic of your own hair?


The back looks kind of funky in this one- was not happy...


I conned Jaysen into taking that one.
Not too shabby for a kid who'd rather be playing Mario.

Halloweenies 2009

I love Hallowe'en. It's my absolutely favoritest holiday of the year. Every year, I look forward to the possibility that Jaysen has gotten over his costuming phobia - costumes are cool, as long as there's nothing on his face, and as long as Mom doesn't dress up. See here.

But this year, seemed different.

This was the first year my sensory-evasive son, conquered his issues and actually touched the pumpkin guts.
Not only did he touch them, he actually got in there and dug around in the pumpkin!
Granted, he only used one hand, but still- he was covered in pumpkin yuck, fingers to elbow, and was having a blast!

Awesome!

Enter the Hallowe'en wrecker...

...that would be the one on the left.

Costuming was no big issue this year, since he wanted to be Luigi.
Luigi without the signature mustache.
Okay, whatever. He was still really cute, and very excited.



We had a Mario costume for Rylan, which he was geeked about as well. When it came down to it though, he wanted to be Thomas the Train.
Thomas? Seriously?
Ugh.
But it's not about me, so he was Thomas.

Cutest Thomas evar!

Time for Trick-or-Treating.

Last year, my kids were all about it.
It took Rylan one house to figure out "I say Trick-or-Treat, and get candy?!? I totally got this one!"

This year?

Rylan chanted "I not go Trick-or-Treat!" as we started to walk the neighborhood, and sat at the end of each driveway, crying. Would not go up to the houses.
He Trick-or-Treated at a total of two houses- mine, and my parent's.

Jaysen wasn't much better. He Trick-or-Treated at a total of five houses. He was really selective on which houses he went up to. Not for any particular reason, just saying "That's okay, we'll go to a different one."

They were done in under 30 min.
Weenies.

Jaysen did get a kick out of passing out candy to other Trick-or-Treaters once back at the house. He was dishing out huge handfuls, and thought it was funny that the recipients would say "WOW!" when he filled their bags.



But!

You've got to see my dismay by now... I have no candy to pilfer!
C'mon! It's a mom's job to pilfer all the good stuff out of the kid's take-home stash!

Seriously, there's nothing to loot.
And I'm so bummed. Not one chocolate bar of any kind.

So, dear Jaysen, I'm thrilled you had a fun Hallowe'en-
But once again, you totally wrecked it for your mom.
Next year, you stay home and pass out candy. I'll go Trick-or-Treating.
I'll school ya on how it's done.

Because this?!? Is pathetic.

Sniffle.