Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Grilled cheese - Momzilla style

Step 1:
Obtain 2 pieces of "acceptable" bread.

Step 2:
Butter bread on outsides, and place butter-side down on a paper plate.

Step 3:
While you are getting the "acceptable" cheese out of the fridge, hone your ninja skills and sneak the jar of mixed vegetables baby food out of the fridge at the same time. Hide jar behind bananas on counter.

Step 4:
Open the cheese wrapper - note this is the only time where if the cheese does not come out as a perfect square, it won't matter. As long as child does not witness any cheese mistakes.

Step 5:
At this point, start singing loudly- as this will usually deter child from entering kitchen.

Step 6:
Agility counts. Use dull knife to spread baby food onto bread. Wait a few seconds as the orange glop begins to soak in. Be careful not to overspread onto the crust of the bread, as this will surely send off a red flag. Likewise, do not get overzealous about the baby food. If you use too much, you may lose grilled cheese forever.

Step 7:
Assemble sandwich onto heated pan. Butter sides on the outside, baby food sides on the inside, and cheese in the middle. You may stop singing now.

Step 8:
While sandwich is sufficiently heating, throw out paper plate before child sees it and goes into convulsions.

Step 9:
Sandwich done, remove it from pan and place on pristine plate. Let it cool just a bit so the cheese does not drip out and stick to the plate. Cut the sandwich in a diagonal.

Step 10:
Inspect and admire how nicely the melted cheese masks the baby food.

Step 11:
Present to child and walk away. Do not watch as he looks at it, sniffs it, takes just a nibble, and finally determines it is acceptable to eat.

And that... is how we do in my house.
Wanna come over for grilled cheese???
It's yummy...


Shea's Mom said...


Niksmom said...

LOL! This is crafty and cunning! I love it!

Mary (MPJ) said...

OMG! That is so awesome -- and so familiar! I use some of those same techniques to mix in vitamins. :)

Jess said...

Hmm...well, now that I know, unfortunately, no dinner. However, I will take my vegetables on the side. :)

Your prose amuses me. I am an Aspergian, eighteen, and more or less somewhat sufficient. Naaaaaaah.

Anyhow, lovely to read your blog.

Sara said...

Brilliant.... as always!!!!

kia (good enough mama) said...

I don't really want to come over for grilled cheese. I would, however, like to send my boy over for grilled cheese. If you can make him eat it with baby food on it, I'll pay you. A lot of money...

To keep him.

Ok, not really. But seriously?! Your kids will eat that? Wow! I bow down. My kid can tell if it's the wrong brand of marbled cheddar or whole wheat bread.

Tanya @ Teenautism said...

I am so impressed! Love how you wrote this too.

mommy~dearest said...

Kia- I am in shock that my kid will eat the aforementioned sammich. He too, can tell the difference between trivial things like brand name vs. generic. I don't know why this is passable, but I really don't care- as long as he eats it! :)