I feel a healin' coming on.

I have tried so hard to suppress what I am about to post, but it's just not working.

*Disclaimer- I truly mean no offense to anyone here. If you are easily offended by religious parody, please stop reading not and come back another day.*

Barbara at TherExtras is hosting a blog carnival on October 6th- the topic is Healing. I cannot resist. I have a game that I play with my kids.

We call it Faith Healer.

How do you play?
I'm so glad you asked, fellow heathen. Checkitout.

First- position child of choice standing on bed. If child is tall enough, they may stand in front of bed or couch.

Raise your hand high in the air and announce child's affliction. Use your best Television Evangelist voice.
Example: If yooou have a dirty face... and are suffering from did-not-use-my-napkin-at-dinner-tonight... and are covered in ketchupy crumbity eeeee-vile... come forth to me now.

Deliver your message.
Example: My son. I can seeeee that you are afflicted. I can seeee that you have... the dirty face. Can I get a witness?

Arch back and raise hand into air, hooting and hollering a bit.

You: Okay child, now repeat after me (bonus if child has echolalic tendencies)
Don't forget to raise your arm, shimmy hand around and undulate (yes, undulate) into the air with each exclamation.

You: Hallelujah!
Child: Halla-loola!

You: I said Hallelujah!
Child: Halla-yoola!

You: Glory Be!
Child: Glory Be!

You: Mekka-lekka-hi-mekka-heiney-ho!
Child: Mekka-lucky-mucky-mo!

You: Hal-le-luuuu-jah!
Child: Ha-lay-looooooooola!

You: Can I get a what-what?!
Child: Can I what!

You: I feel it child! I feel...(quietly) a healin'.

Blasphemous child is laughing hysterically by now.
Continue shaking your hand, bringing it closer to your victim, er child.

You: By the Holy waters of the Holiest Bathtub... and all that is soapy and good... walk with me in the beauty of all that is clean. I condemn that dirty face-ed-ness of eeeee-vile, and you...will be...(dramatic pause)...HEALED!

Smack said child in forehead and send them backward onto the bed.
Be prepared to do this repeatedly.

I started this as a joke when Jaysen was 2 years old (and often afflicted with "stinky-diaper-pants). He still loves to play it to this day. Nowadays, i just have to raise my hand and give him that "I feel a healin' " look, and he runs and jumps on my bed laughing. I also ask him what his affliction is since he's a big boy now and can think of what he needs cleansing of. usually it's "I stink" or "My unnerwear is tight" or something like that.

I do have to caution you though, when the kids try to heal you. Especially the younger ones- they'll often try to heal you with things like firetrucks and sippy cups.

I have tried this game with adults too, but they just don't get into it like the kids. Go figure.

And just to clear up any misconceptions-
this isn't the only thing I'm probably going to hell for.