There has been so much hype about possible causes of Autism...particularly vaccines. As a mom, I started doing research as soon as I found out I was pregnant again. The more research I did, the more confused I became. It seems everyone had an opinion, yet nobody was willing to advise me because they were afraid of liability. If you are standing behind your convictions 100%, why would liability be an issue? It's the Thimerosal, it's the number of vaccines, it's the other preservatives in the vaccines, it's genetics, it's because Mercury was in retrograde when you conceived...my head was spinning. Doctors said vaccinate, but they wouldn't tell you it's safe. Advocates said don't vaccinate, but they won't back it up either. Fanatics said don't ever vaccinate, and have my amalgam fillings removed because the baby could become Autistic if I kiss him (yes, really). Regardless of their stance, all camps always ended with the same closer "but it's your choice". I know it's my choice. And I'm trying to make the most educated choices I can, before I decide.
I have never tried to uncover where Jaysen's Autism originated. I've never tried to lay blame on anyone. I'm not looking for the magic elixir that will make him into a "real boy" (yes- I had been told once when Rylan was born that it must be a relief that he's a 'real boy'). Instead, I had decided to focus my energies on what I can do for Jaysen now. It's not important for me to know about the past- but it is important to me to know what I can do for Jaysen today, to help lay a foundation for him to grow from. The past is the past. You can't change it. You can't take back administered vaccines, you can't take back genetics, it just is what it is.
You can't rewrite history, but you can learn and become informed from it. Which is what I'm trying to do with Rylan. If by any chance, the vaccine theory is true- I feel it is my duty as a mom to try to make the best choices I can for him. Companion and I discussed vaccinations awhile back. We had decided to hold off on vaccinating for now, just to be safer.
Until I spoke to my cousin, who is a pediatrician. She admitted that since she is a pediatrician, she is an endorser of vaccines- but it's what she said after, that really stuck in my head.
"I'd rather have an Autistic child than a dead one."
Yep. I'd have to agree. So, Companion and I were once again back to square one. We finally really decided to go ahead with the scheduled vaccines, but to hold off on the "triple" vaccines (DPT, MMR), and have those administered separately. Break up the triple vaccine into three vaccines, and given on another encounter.
Is it the right decision? I don't know. I can say that this is what we've felt the most comfortable with. If Rylan does happen to have Autism as well- at least I'll know that I didn't just sit there and follow through on what was dictated to me. I went out, did research, and came to a decision that I thought was for the best. And I will love him with all of my heart, just like I do Jaysen. I am standing behind that 100%.