Declaration of nusiance.

That's what it said on my ticket-

I had the hearing for my great lawn debacle today. You remember the lawn attached to the house that I haven't lived in for 2 years now? The one that just won't foreclose? Yeah, I had to go to court for that. I was the last person called- bonus, because I presented in front of an empty courtroom.

As I approached the podium, I came face to face with the officer who cited me, officer Hovarth. Or Horvath. I can't remember his name exactly, but all I knew was Magilla Gorilla was standing there. This bad mamma-jamma stood like 7 feet tall and was 300 lbs of stock. I was in the presence of the grand intimidator, or a WWF reject.

After the judge swore us in, Magilla presented his side of the story- grass was long, blah blah blah...

And I presented mine- I had a neighbor maintaining it, but I was not aware that they were only doing the front yard. I also was not notified until after the 7 days allowed for me to rectify the problem had passed. I admitted responsibility, and agreed that I was absolutely at fault.

Magilla had pictures that he wanted to submit into evidence. My grass was 10-12 inches high, when the city limit is 8 inches. The judge looked at me, I said I wasn't arguing that the grass was out of control. He told Magilla I wasn't contesting the condition of the lawn, but Magilla persisted about the pictures, Judge caved, and said he could show me the pics if he wanted to, which of course, you know he did. Apparently, you are not allowed to have brawn and brains at the same time.

This guy loves his job. The lawn enforcer. He was proud of his pics, would not work with me when I had called the previous week, refused to lessen the cost of the maintenance. Forget that there was no leniency despite the fact that crackheads stole my lawnmower. Magilla loves his tough-guy buzz cut and the fact that he's saving scraggly lawns across the city.

The judge said that since I wasn't fighting the responsibility, and that I have maintained the property for the past 2 years without any prior violations, he would drop the ticket fine down to $75, contingent on when I pay the lawn maintenance fee in full. Okay- cool. I walked across the street, paid my $370 to the city, and went back to settle up with the court (thanks Dad!). So, I'm done with that.

It just sucks that we're leaving for Charlevoix on Friday, and I just had to hand over our vacation funds. Whatever. I can just picture officer Gorilla giving his shoes a nice spit shine tonight, after eating his rare steak. With his fingers. And his napkin tucked into his shirt.