Monday, January 7, 2008

And it just keeps getting BETTER.

They suspended him.

The fucking school fucking suspended him.
Fuck, fuck, fuckitty fuck fuck.

Jaysen had an awesome day today, until the very end of the day when it was time to go home. The teacher was taking a picture or 2 girls wearing the same shirt, when Jaysen, just out of nowhere, started crying, and said that the teacher hit him. He then said "I'm going to kill you".

Now- when I talked to Jaysen about this incident, he (of course said nothing first) told me he said "I'm going to tell you". This is exactly a phrase that he uses when he's angry. Although there were two witnesses that heard "kill", the sp.ed teacher thinks that they misheard "tell" for "kill", since he was obviously upset and crying when he was saying it.

The sp.ed teacher was not in the room, but is speculating that the flash from the camera hurt Jaysen's eyes, and he was reacting from the flash. "You hit me" is something that he says when he thinks you did something mean to him. If it hurt him, you "hit" him. This makes sense to me too. But, as I stated, the sp.ed teacher was not in the room, and the witnesses say that there was nothing that prompted the initial crying outburst. Whatever. There is always something that prompts it- you just may not have caught it.

So, the principal calls me at home to tell me Jaysen is suspended until they can get a behavior plan in action. I voiced my frustration that I've been asking for support for months now, and nothing is yet in place. I voiced that he's being suspended for communicating inappropriately, even considering that he has expressive language issues. She confirmed, and said that they cannot have a student accusing a teacher of hitting them, and using threats.

I'm upset that my son is now on suspension, but I'm even more upset that they're telling me that he's being suspended for his communication. To me, that's borderline discrimination. Or am I overreacting?



MOM-NOS said...


You are not overreacting. I can imagine Bud in the same scenario. I'm sure they did "nothing," but clearly it was "something" to Jaysen, and he reacted with a script, which is what our kids do under stress, and they misunderstood what he said because the script didn't make sense to them in context.

He is being suspended because he acted the way a child with a disability acts.

On the flip side, if the adults in the classroom are not skilled at reading his triggers, scripts, and reactions, then it might be in Jaysen's best interest to go back when a plan is in place. It will just be VERY important that the plan is not about Jaysen's behavior in a vacuum, but about structuring the classroom environment in a way that will bring out the best in Jaysen's behavior.

Jodi said...

I'm thinking you should ask for a manifest determination meeting.

mommy~dearest said...

Jodi- I'm not quite sure what that is, and would it be worth going through even if the suspension is only for one or two days?

I plan on going to the school bright and early to get his file and his accumulative file.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

No fucking way! Oh that makes me so angry. No you are not overreacting. I'm pissed too. He is reacting in a predictable (harmless) manner and the school has done nothing to assist him or understand him. Bleh!

Casdok said...

That is out rageous. Poor you, poor Jaysen. I hope it dosnt affect him his self confidence to badly.
Maybe the school are now in a better position to justify getting the extra support he needs?

Elissa - Managing Autism said...

You're not overreacting at all - I'd be absolutely disguisted if I were you.

Mom-nos is right - make sure the plan covers the structure of the classroom behaviour and NOT simply Jaysens behaviour. He needs SUPPORT - not to be kicked out!!!

Oh I really feel for you... hang in there!

mommy~dearest said...

Jodi- what I meant was can a manifest determination meeting be held after-the-fact, to get it off of his record?

Oh- and I completely forgot about the Tourette diagnosis, so it's about to get even more amusing around here.

I am going down to the school this morning and requesting his file, as well as his accumulative file. I'll be scouring it to make sure everything is properly documented.

I also have to go through my files because I just recently requested that another IEP be held, and they are trying to put it off and just hold an addendum. I'm hoping this is going to backfire in their faces.

There is a meeting tomorrow regarding his "new" behavior plan. I've got some searching to do to make sure it IS supportive to Jaysen, but I also have to keep in mind that he's not allowed to come back to school until a behavior plan is in place. I may just have to sign it, and ask for a review and an adjustment the next day (so evil am I).

Thank you all for your support! At least I know I'm not crazy. I'll keep you posted on what happens!

A Bishops wife said...

I am so sorry to hear this. Sometimes I think they do not want them there and will do anything to get them off their hands. At least that is how I felt.

I too, got tired of the phone calls about Noddy and the nasty comments. He was always in detention and never got to participate in the fun stuff.

I am so sorry to hear this.

Ashley's Mom said...

Yes, you can have the manifest determination meeting after the fact. If it is determined that his behavior was a result of his disbility, you then ask for compensatory educational services for the time that he was suspended.

This really pisses me off. Fight them....

Marla said...

I am so sorry this happened. It sounds like you are getting into school to see that everything gets taken care of so that is good. Please keep us posted as to what happens. I do agree with Casdok that this may put you in a better position, and the school, to get the support he needs. Too bad it is like a full time job getting it all done. Good luck!

Sabrina said...

That is just wrong to suspend him. He has no idea! I don't think his school is doing all they can for him and I believe you are right about discrimination. Sending him home solves nothing! Grrrr!

KC's Blog said...

I am so sorry this is happening to you guys. To think the school is supending him because of his communication is WRONG!
Please keep us posted, we will be praying everything goes well for you and Jaysen.

Pickel said...

Gosh, he has a Tourette diag. and they suspend him for something that he just does? that is bull.

This is exactly what we are going through now though...I keep telling the school that I need their help, that AJ needs their help, that he needs sensory accommodations and modifications but they think it is just a behavior problem.

AJ also says "I'm going to hit her" or "Hit mama" when he gets upset...I did something unexpected and upset him or someone else did. To me, and the people who know him, that is obvious. But, again, his teachers think it is a behavior issue.

keep me updated. I would love to see how the school handles this.