3 minutes 26 seconds.

This is the time it takes me to complete a VHS transplant.

What is a VHS transplant, you ask?
Ahh...prepare to be "wowed" with my crazy skills.

If you've been following this blog, you may remember that Jaysen's "obsession" is video tapes. Particularly the Baby Einstein series. He collects them, plays with them, talks to them, carries them around, sleeps with them, and occasionally watches them.

He has eight copies of Baby Mozart. Although technically, they are all the same- they are all different.

There is "White Baby Mozart" which has the title written in white lettering on the black tape. "Black Baby Mozart" has a white sticker with black writing.
"Red Baby Mozart" was a real treat- yes, white sticker with red writing.
"Little Baby Mozart" has the same layout as "White Baby Mozart", but the writing is smaller. There is also "Baby Mozart with the F period H period E period"- this would be the Baby Mozart put out by Family Home Entertainment, and has a little doghouse with the letters f.h.e. above it.

You get the idea...

One day, Jaysen must have decided he had found out all he could of the external world of his VHS tapes, and it was time to delve into the dark world of the inner-workings of tapedom. Armed with a small screwdriver, he proceeded to unscrew the outer shell of the tape (check the back of a VHS tape, and gosh darned, there are 5 screws), disassembling the tape to view the inner contents.

Maybe he'll be a surgeon one day, or expect me to be, because somehow, he got the idea that he wanted to open two tapes and wanted me to exchange their reels. The way he explained it was awesome- "Openna Dr. Seuss and openna SpongeBob. Then up, and inna switch (carefully demonstrating the exchange with two pointer fingers), and down into tapes". I asked him to show me again, just to be sure that was what he wanted, because lord help me if I desecrated his tapes. He confirmed.

The two tapes were already opened, so I removed the reels and replaced them into the "wrong" tape encasements. He was overjoyed. So overjoyed, that now he wants to transplant all of his tapes. The problem being that although he can open and disassemble them, he needs my help lining up the two halves of the tape encasement to reattach them. This takes time, and of course he picks the most inopportune times, like when I'm trying to cook dinner, or just before bed. However, through practice, I have become a video tape guru.

I know more about the anatomy of a VHS tape than I ever cared to know.
The innards of a video tape consist of two reels, two little metal tubes, one or two plastic tubes, a couple of tiny-itty-bitty springs, and two plastic pieces that I haven't yet figured out how to put back in once they fall out.


Consider yourself enlightened.
And pray for my sanity.