Seasons greetings.

Well, it's almost Christmas. Jaysen's made sure that we are fully prepared this year.

Tree up- check.
Decorate outside tree- check.
Garland up- check.
Presents wrapped- check.
Stockings hung on the mantle- check.
Letter to Santa- check.

I'll have to remind him he's not Christian some other time.
Anyway...

Jaysen has decided, at the tender age of 6, that he is going to be the "Holiday Enforcer".
If there is a holiday on the calendar, it deserves to be celebrated.
No holiday shall go without it's due.
It's holiday diversity, folks.

So far, just this month, we have celebrated Hanukkah, Rylan's birthday twice (once for his b-day, and once for his party), and now we're getting ready for Christmas. At Thanksgiving, Jaysen said he was thankful for God. Usually, that would be a wonderful thing, but I don't know where that came from- since I do not know if Jaysen knows the concept of "thankful", and God is not a discussion that I have had with my son. But I am aware the power-of-the-peers, and figured echolalia had gotten the upper hand on Thanksgiving.

Jaysen frantically last week that he wanted to write a Christmas letter. I did not know what a Christmas letter was (Christmas list?), but my curiosity was piqued, so I gave him a pen and some paper, and told him to go for it. It was a letter to Santa! The best part (other than Dear "Sana")was that he included his brother. He didn't ask for any of my help, and included his brother in the letter twice, on his own accord. He's so awesome.

I had to ask Jaysen a bazillion questions about Christmas and Santa, because I need to know what he's expecting- so I (I mean Santa) can deliver. I wasn't going to do the whole "Santa" thing, but Jaysen has decided that he's a believer. Who am I to interfere with my holiday-diverse son? He's Christian at Christmas, Jewish at Hanukkah, Hispanic at Cinco de Mayo, Buddhist on Buddha's Birthday, Pagan at Samhain...I'm sure the list will go on. Atta boy, Jaysen, embrace it all!

However, I'm exhausted, and wondering if I will lose my mind trying to find decorations for Groundhog Day.

Quick update.

...and I mean quick. I seem to have evaded the flu's nasty grasp thus far, but the rest of the family is not so lucky. Rylan has been throwing up for the past 2 days. Tonight was my work Holiday Party- we got home around Midnight. Around 3am, Rylan starts crying and Companion says, "Hey, can you please get him, I think I'm going to be sick." Great. So I think he's going to be useless with a hangover in the morning. I'm trying to put Rylan back to sleep, when Jaysen calls, "Mommy! I frowed up!" Ohhhhh....

I put Rylan down and take care of a vomit-covered Jaysen. Vomiting has been scary for Jaysen, but this time, he really listened to my direction. We changed his shirt, I sent him to the bathroom to wash his hands, and then to lay on the couch.

Rylan's still crying but luckily, Jaysen fell right to sleep. I just now got Rylan back to bed. I don't know how long it will last. Rylan's asleep in his crib, Jaysen's asleep on the couch, and Companion is asleep on the bathroom floor. My poor family.

This stinks. Quite literally.

Onto the update with school.
I received a call from the principal wanting to set up a meeting for next week. I also got a call from the Director of Special Services for the district. She's the big admin. who denied him bus services on the grounds that his expressive language disorder makes him safer than other kids because he won't talk to strangers as easily. Yeah. I spoke with her, and she was apologetic about the procedure, that they did not notify me of putting my son in a restraint. She said they didn't have a procedure in place because they didn't think of Jaysen "that way" (behavior issues), which is funny because he had a behavior plan last year. She admitted that's no excuse, but that's what happened. The teacher that had Jaysen restrained, just forgot to call me. Whatever.

So, we're all meeting next week to discuss a behavior plan and procedure. I'm also going to ask for a parapro.

The thing that makes it difficult right now, is that I don't believe they've broken any laws. Common sense and ethics? Sure. Laws? I think that they're very adept at covering their asses. When I was fighting the last district, they were so out of compliance with so many laws, I was shocked that a district could be that stupid. Although it was still a difficult fight, I was concrete with my presentations. I cited articles, laws, addendum...all that good stuff. I had legal-knowledge at my back. Currently, all I found was one line in the State policy and procedure for physical and chemical restraint. I don't have the actual name of the policy in front of me, but it's something like that. One line. That was my back up this time. Not quite the arsenal I had Downriver, but this hasn't turned out to be the "big guns" type of battle just yet.

That's all I know. I am praying the flu decides to show mercy on me.
More later...

~X~

Here we go again + Hiatus.

Well- I was really hoping it wasn't coming to this, but it appears there is a severe lack of communication with Jaysen's school.

For weeks now, I have been requesting communication as to how his days were going, to which I've only been told "Oh, he's doing fine. A little tired, but fine."

Apparently things are not fine.

My son told me last night:
"The 'bad teacher' (ironically, the Autism Consultant) put me in the kindergarten. She put Baby Shakespeare (tape) on the shelf behind the books. She wouldn't let go of my arms like this (demonstrates a "basket hold" restraint), and I cry."

"Ms. B (principal) wouldn't let go of my pencil."
I asked why Ms. B wanted to hold onto his pencil-
"I playing with it like this (stims)."

I am pissed. I am way beyond the realms of frustration. I am seething.

First of all, if this "Autism Consultant" was worth a shit, she would know that Jaysen's behavior would escalate if she took his tape away, especially if she put it out of his sight. She would also know that "stimming" is, among other things, a coping strategy for him in times of anxiety. Interrupting his stim is going to cause his anxiety to rise as well.

His behavior escalated to the point that the Autism Consultant felt it necessary to apply a "basket hold" type physical restraint. The kicker? I was not contacted at all regarding any of this. I had no idea that Jaysen's behavior was even an issue, and I sure as hell had no idea that it "required" physical restraint, until he told me last night. That's saying a lot, considering Jaysen's language issues.

My child does not feel safe in his own classroom. This is absolutely unacceptable.

When I tried to ask his teacher this morning about it, she refused to give me eye contact, and said very coldly, "I have to greet my students. I'm too upset." Bitch, I don't care about your emotional status. I care why my son was restrained without my knowledge yesterday. I just walked away, and fired off an e-mail to practically everybody in the district.

All of his other classes are great! Reports of his hard work, how far he's come, and he's a pleasure. Except in his home class. Gee, what does that tell me?

So- I am probably going to take a (hopefully) brief hiatus from The Quirk Factor here. I've fought a school system before (the crappy school in our old district-see post here), and it looks like it's headed that way again. Those of you who have battled a district before, know the time and energy it sucks out of you. It's not fun. Personally, I'd rather have a root canal. This time though, the gloves are off.

I will be checking my e-mail frequently, so if you do have powerful advocacy tips you'd like to share, I greatly appreciate them. Wish me luck, and I will try to update.

While maintaining my best professional front-
...they're about to meet Momzilla.

Happy 100th Post to Me.

Knit-wit

Conversation per last night:

"Mommy, I need a sleep hat."

"A what?"

"A sleep hat!"

"What's a sleep hat?"

"A hat. For sleep."

"Really."

"It's triangle. It's long, long, long."

"Ohhhh...a sleep hat (think 19th century style). I don't think you can get those anymore, but maybe we can make one ourselves."

"Okay!!!"


Now. What you need to be aware of, is I do not have knitting skills. Nor do I have sewing skills. My crafty skills remain rooted in scrapbooking and crafts, not functional things. So, we have a problem. I promised Jaysen I would make him a sleep hat. Boy, my mouth gets me in trouble sometimes.





So. I took a knit hat. I found a scarf. I cut the scarf, sewed it around the hat, and created this sort of freakish Frankenstein version of what would hopefully pass off as a sleep hat.








He was not in the least bit amused.




So I am asking any knitters out there...if you are able to make a sleep hat (preferably two!), I would love to buy them! Hopefully my son will start speaking to me again.



In addition, I am so excited to try the new CD from Pickel at My Two Boys!
Thank you so much!

Momzilla escapes.

Most of my posts are of uplifting, if not downright humorous, antics that involve my son, Jaysen. I've often been told "you have the patience of a Saint", and "you are such a wonderful mom, I could never do what you do". To me, I am not really doing anything out of the ordinary, and parenting my boys is naturally part of my job as their mom.

Well, as some of you may have guessed, I am only human.

And I lost it.

The other day, I was trying to get Jaysen ready for school. He wanted to "finish level 5" on his video game. Quick mental inventory reminds me that the levels on this particular game are short, and Jaysen can, in fact, finish the level within enough time. I agree. "Finish this level, then it's time for school".

Level 5 ends and level 6 begins. I remind Jaysen of his promise, and he pleads with me. I stand firm. We go through the whole shebang of "If you don't turn it off, I will", and the 1-2-3 countdown began. He did not turn it off, so I did.

"Maaaaa-Meeeee! You turn it off!"
"Yes, I did. It's time for school."
"I not going to school!" and he hit me.

I chauffeured Jaysen away from the game and outside. He continued to scream that he was not getting in the car, and not going to school. I chauffeured him into the car, where he hit me again. This is the first episode of physical aggression since beginning any medication many months ago, and he has been totally off of meds for about a month.

I buckle in my screaming child, and enter the car myself. I pull out of the driveway and begin our journey to school. We had just gotten in front of our nextdoor neighbor's house, when Jaysen's tone changed. There was a bit of panic.

"I need a tape!"
"You have 'Bach' in your backpack."
"That's a CD, I need a tape!"

Another mental inventory knows that he does need a tape.
I want to make this a lesson learned that he has to consider these things before we leave the house, take some responsibility for getting things ready for school, and the such.
He is late for school, and I will be late to work.
I also know that if I do not turn back, he does not have a chance in hell of having any sort of decent day, this will mess up his whole chi, and he will be combative at school.

I slam on the brakes.

"WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?!?!?!!!!" I scream at the top of my lungs.
He covers his ears and starts to protest my volume.
"WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?!?!?!!!!" I scream another 3 or 4 times, spilling my coffee all over my lap in the process.

Then it happens.
There is a scream.
It is not an ordinary scream.
It's fierce. It's commanding. It's raw and primal.
And it's coming from me.

Jaysen is frozen. I reverse back to the house, throw open his door, and growl through clenched teeth, "get a tape".
He runs into the house crying "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for you!".
I follow him, to find him standing in the dining room totally confused, crying "I'll make it work. I'll make it work. I'll take Dolittle". He bolts out to the car and gets in.

On the way to school, Jaysen is telling me "I'll make you happy, Mommy". I do not answer. In fact, I start sobbing. I had just let out probably 3 years of frustration, and it scared the crap out of both of us.

We arrive at school, a bit calmer. Jaysen does try to make it up to me by suggesting (since we are late) that we run. We make it to his classroom, where I apologize for yelling, and tell him to have a good day. "Bye" was all he could muster.

I'm just about to round the corner, when I hear, "Mommy! Wait!"

I turn to see Jaysen standing at the end of the hallway, totally red-faced. He wasn't crying, but his face was so red! I start to walk toward him.

He says "I want to give you a hug."
I kneel down, he hugs me, and falls apart in my arms. He starts sobbing, a sob that really means I'm sorry. He tells me over and over "I love you. I love you so much. I love you." Then he gives me a huge heartfelt kiss on my cheek. I think that's the first time he's ever done that. He squeezes me again, so hard that I thought I might pass out.

We both collected ourselves, and he walked back to class. He kept looking back to see me. When he got to his room, he quickly turned around and blew me a kiss. Another first.

I went about my day, feeling guilty that I lost it like that. I had screamed so furiously that not only did my throat hurt, but I pulled a muscle in my neck! I realized that there is an important factor here though. I lost it in front of Jaysen, not at Jaysen. I still felt like crap regardless. When I got home from work, Jaysen greeted me with more hugs. I was thinking maybe I scared him enough that he would shape up and be an "angel" for the rest of the week.
Ummm...no.

So at least things are back to normal. :)

Big shoes to fill.

Jaysen has a big thing about going to "check the mail".

He saw the mailman come and yelled for help with his shoes. My mom told him to just put on a pair and not worry about tying the laces.



Look closely.



























Apparently she never specified whose shoes.
'Nuff said.