Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Hulk, Oscar the Grouch, and Jaysen...

Been awhile... anyone still there?

To say the least, it's been a rough few weeks. And by rough, I mean holyfuckcrap what the hell is going on with my kid?!?

The aggression? Oh, it's back. It's Back In Black, baby.
Jaysen's physical targeting has returned, as well as some awesome new verbal aggressions such as these lovelies:

"I hate you." A classic staple.

"How would you like to shake hands...with a knife?" A creative spin- points for originality.

and the ever-alarming "I hope you get into a car accident and die."

I have been a total basket case.
Yes, more than usual...
We've ventured into the land of aggression and agitation before, so the actual reappearance wasn't all that eye popping. That being said, the difference is that usually I know why his aggression is coming out. I may not be able to justify or condone the behavior, but at least I understand why, in his little mind, he is doing it. Not so this time.

Jaysen can be sweet as pie one minute, and turn into a flesh eating, rabid, Valkyrie the next. He's mean to everyone. He's been pulled out of the Gen.Ed class at school, and placed in the Resource Room 100% again. He's been "physically managed" again. Oh gawd, if you remember that great debacle.

Punishment- does not work. At least not for more than a day.

I've tried to track everything from time of day to what color his shirt is, trying to find some kind of correlation- but there just isn't one. At least not that I can put together. The only thing that's changed was his new med.

When we were at the psychiatrist, I remember reporting that he still gets agitated and his frustration is high, but I don't remember reporting any increased aggression. So, I pulled him off of the glucophage.

I'm not saying the glucophage made him a monster, but it did do nasty things to his insides, and maybe constant stomach aches is a reason for the aggression. I don't know.

I'm feeling like I'm at the point where I really am going to lose it.
Support? Minimal.
Stress? I have so much I could use it to stuff my bra.
Y'know, if my boobs weren't large and in charge already.
I'm tired. And sad. And concerned.


Niksmom said...

I'm so sorry that J's been having such a tough time (and you as well). I swear, I wonder if there's something in the air lately; we're going through our own version of impulse control issues here. Brutal.

I wish I had something concrete to offer. All I've got is a willing ear and an understanding heart. Hugs.

Corrie Howe said...

Yes, I've noticed you were missing. I'm glad you decided to check in. Please know you have support out here in the blogsphere. I'm really sorry you've been having a rough time. How has taking him off the meds helped?

Have you asked another set of eyes to look at what you've tracked? I know people have see what I could not.

Erin said...

Wish I had something constructive to say. Does Jaysen have any idea of the fact that his behavior has changed? Does he have any idea why? As for you, I vote for an evening of chocolate, wine, and a bubble bath. Good luck!

Shea's Mom said...

Oh god.

What about his intake? you said his insides are doing nasty things. Are you trying a different diet? Anything new? Extra carbos, sugar, milk?

Even when I can tell you are in pain and hurting your writing so blasted humerous.

I am glad you still have your sense of humor but I am worried about you.


Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

So sorry Jaysen's going through a rough patch (hence, rough on you). Thinking of you and sending some positive vibes your way.

Azaera said...

I'm sorry that you guys are having such a tough time. I hope things get better soon.

Ashley's Mom said...

I've dealt with similar things with my oldest daughter, and wish I had some magic wisdom to offer you. Unfortunately, I don't.

How about if I send him a "care package"? It would be a box of 30 little, individually wrapped gifts. For each day he has no aggressive behaviors, he gets to unwrap a new present. Since it wouldn't be coming from Mom, maybe it would hold a little more weight in the behavior mod arena...

Casdok said...

What a lovely idea from Ashley's mom.
Hugs to you both.

Dana said...

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Just want to say that Marc and I are thinkin' of you and hope things start looking up for you guys soon.

Nicki said...

By the way, I gave you an award on my blog! Go here to check it out:

Anonymous said...

Please touch base with us. We'd like to share your story on

Anonymous said...

Hoping you read this after 3 days of improvement, er, less and less frequent aggression.

I always look for internal causes vs external - and meds figure prominently in that area.


Sara said...

The magic words I've used with the school district when I and they are at a loss is "Functional Behavior Analysis". This is where a school district psychologist or other trained employee, hopefully someone Jaysen doesn't already know, observes him in several school environments over several days. We did this when my daughter was screaming constantly in class. The list of all the "wrongs" is too long for this comment but lets just say the teacher resigned and the screaming went away!

From your posts I'm betting it's not his teacher but rather classmates or curriculum. Anyway, the FBA is a magic request that the district should respond to.

Good luck and hugs,

Joeymom said...

I would definitely ask about what else they can put him on for sugar. Metformin isn't the only thing out there. Also, if you are trying that diet stuff I sent you, double-check to make sure he's not getting hungry. Hungry with an upset tummy can drive you to distraction.

Anonymous said...

No advice, friend, just HUGS and wishes that something fixable becomes very obvious very soon.


Shea's Mom said...

Hi there,

I have just officially awarded your blog the Lemonade Blog award!

The deal is; you get to revel in the glory and post the award on your blog then nominate and award it to 10 other bloggers who you really like.

It was sort of fun and it really made me think about whose blogs I really, REALLY like and want to stay connected with.

So congratulations and pat yourself on the back, cuz I can't quite reach.

Then go out there and pat a few backs just to keep the karma balanced.



aka Shea's mom