Sorry...

Jaysen, I'm sorry I mess with you so much.
I'm sorry that although people often refer to me as a "saint" (which ironically irritates the hell out of me), I have done "less than saintly" things.
But there are many times that you back me against a wall, and I don't always know how to react in the best way. Like last night.

It was one of those days, and I'd just had enough.
Parenting is challenging on its own, and you not only require parenting, but creative parenting. Creative parenting sometimes means exploring outside of the norm.
Even our norm.
I have to keep you on your toes too, y'know.

So last night, when you were mad at me and screamed "you don't live here anymore!"
And I just looked at you and said "oh... then I'd better go find my house"?
And walked out the door at 8pm?

Yeah, I was really just around the back of the house.
After a minute, I heard you come to the garage door and call for me.
I didn't respond because I needed a minute to myself.
I heard you call for me throughout the house.
I didn't respond because I wanted to see what you would do.
I suppose I was hoping for a real-life lesson about how words affect people.
But when I did come in, shortly after that-
And we crashed into each other coming around the corner?
And you had on your winter coat all zipped up and your boots on?
I knew right then that you did care.
You were coming to look for me.
In the dark and in the snow.
I knew that when you hugged me and said you were sorry over and over again,
And told me that you loved me,
That you meant it.
And that made me feel so proud of you.
And it made me feel so loved.

Do I think you will continue to say things that you don't really mean? Yes.
Would I do that again? Maybe, but probably not. You're smart, and will eventually learn to lock the door.
Do I think you learned any kind of lesson? Not really.
Did I? Absolutely.