Friday, August 15, 2008

Xanax please.

That time of year is finally hitting me.

Despite the "back to school" advertisements, discussions, and other red flag warnings, I have managed to keep the thought of going back to school in the recesses of my mind. Now I am realizing just how fast second grade is approaching, and I am forced t face the music.

I posted last year, that for most parents, Back to School is a highly anticipated, warms-the-heart type of event. For me- it creates dangerous levels of anxiety, makes my mind race, my blood pressure skyrocket, and sends sheer terror throughout my entire being.

I am potentially sending my son into the proverbial lion's den.
Worse, I am sending him into the unknown.

Here's where I second guess myself. First grade was horrible. He was treated less than human, his rights were violated, and his spirit was broken. We are starting a different school (again) this year, and although this school is said to be more accepting and supportive of all diversity, disabilities included, I cannot say I know for sure. His last school seemed awesome- and was, until the principal retired and was replaced with a black-hearted, lying, power-tripping, ignorant, imbicile. Sorry... that was mean. Her heart probably really isn't black.

What I'm trying to say, is that his last school seemed like "the one", and it ended up being a nightmare. We are venturing into the unknown, at an unfamiliar school, with unfamiliar teachers and support staff. I was comfortable with the old school because even though they were a bunch of ass-blasters, I knew those ass-blasters. I knew how they operated, I knew their tactics, I knew their motives, I knew who to contact about what, and I could get ahead because I could predict their moves.

Much like Jaysen, I dread change.

This will be 3 schools in 3 years, and I think what freaks me out the most is I don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work out. This was my Plan B, and I don't have a Plan C.

I'm trying to remain optimistic, but it's so difficult.
He's my baby, and it breaks my heart to see such an awesome kid, so stressed out.


asdmommy said...

Oh, dear, I so know where you are. We started a great K two years ago - what we thought was a great K, and it was such a nightmare we had to pull C out mid-year. It was terrifying - we never thought we'd be in that situation, and it really made me question my own instincts. It's such a learning process - trying to find the right place and recognizing the red flags beforehand.

Here's praying and hoping that this year will be all that last year was not. Best to you both this fall.

Darcy (asdmommy -it's been awhile since I've stopped by - remember me?? LOL!)

Bobbi said...

I'm so sorry for all you are going through with schools. It's not fair to you or Jaysen. I so hope this year is fabulous and your worries are for nothing. Try and think positive! You are a great Mom!

califmom said...

I have just started reading your blog, but wanted to share our story as it seems to mirror your own in some ways. My son has Asperger Syndrome and Tourette Syndrome. He's 11 now.

Anyway, last school year, at a private school (that our son had attended for 7+ yrs), which we paid for, he was suspended because of his vocal tics. They tried to call it a "temporary break," but when a temporary break is not of your choosing, it's a suspension. Suspensions are punitive. He was punished for his disability.

We filed a complaint with the Dept. of Justice for a violation of our son's rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act, Title III (that's what applies to private schools). We received notice in July that they have accepted our case and are offering us free mediation. We still retain the right to pursue litigation.

Our kids didn't get to pick their choosing a quiet one that people can see. That doesn't mean their rights are any less valid.

I am sorry to hear your son's rights were violated last year. It was hard to explain to my then 10 year old, I cannot imagine trying to explain it to an even younger child.

Tanya Savko said...

I empathize with you so much. We did the three schools in three years thing and it was so hard. Twice I've had to pull out my son in the middle of the year. "Back to School" when autism is in the picture is a whole different ballgame. I'm sending positive thoughts your way. Take care.

kristi said...

My son will be in a new school this year. I am a nervous wreck.

Jackie said...

I have enough stress and frustration dealing with my son's Crohn's disease and his 504 plan; I can't even imagine what hell schools put you through with ASD and an IEP. Well, I have a friend who has been telling me about it for years, so, I've heard some. And I don't know how you do it.

Gary G. Miller said...

Possible common side effects of taking xanax may include drowsiness and light-headedness. Less common side effects of xanax may include headache, confusion, restlessness, psychosis, transient hypotension, tachycardia, dry mouth, nausea and vomiting, constipation and visual disturbances.

Xanax Side Effects said...

My name is Robert Kegan and i would like to show you my personal experience with Xanax.

I am 19 years old. Have been on Xanax for 60 days now. I have periodic panic attacks, particularly at social gatherings, riding in cars, and walking into rooms full of people (i.e. late to class). I felt that the medicine worked, but I felt that it created urges to take more than directed when the rebound anxiety hit, so I switched from alprazolam to clonazepam (Klonopin). I think xanax is great for airplanes and adjunctive treatment with ssri's, but by itself I don't think xanax has much too offer except as a short term treatment for panic attacks, klonopin is less sedating and seems to prevent future anxious episodes without causing cravings, and tolerance seems to build up much slower than xanax does.

I have experienced some of these side effects -
I sometimes felt invisible, like nobody could notice anything I was doing. Occasionally it would make me fall asleep if I had to stay in one spot for too long. After a fairly short period of time I would feel moderate rebound anxiety.

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Robert Kegan

Donlety said...

You should opt for xanax only after getting hold of a xanax prescription and altogether it is essential to take xanax in accordance with the instructions of a physician. So, take xanax as per the instructions of the physician and get rid of anxiety at the earliest!

mommy~dearest said...

Bite me.