Xanax please.

That time of year is finally hitting me.

Despite the "back to school" advertisements, discussions, and other red flag warnings, I have managed to keep the thought of going back to school in the recesses of my mind. Now I am realizing just how fast second grade is approaching, and I am forced t face the music.

I posted last year, that for most parents, Back to School is a highly anticipated, warms-the-heart type of event. For me- it creates dangerous levels of anxiety, makes my mind race, my blood pressure skyrocket, and sends sheer terror throughout my entire being.

I am potentially sending my son into the proverbial lion's den.
Worse, I am sending him into the unknown.

Here's where I second guess myself. First grade was horrible. He was treated less than human, his rights were violated, and his spirit was broken. We are starting a different school (again) this year, and although this school is said to be more accepting and supportive of all diversity, disabilities included, I cannot say I know for sure. His last school seemed awesome- and was, until the principal retired and was replaced with a black-hearted, lying, power-tripping, ignorant, imbicile. Sorry... that was mean. Her heart probably really isn't black.

What I'm trying to say, is that his last school seemed like "the one", and it ended up being a nightmare. We are venturing into the unknown, at an unfamiliar school, with unfamiliar teachers and support staff. I was comfortable with the old school because even though they were a bunch of ass-blasters, I knew those ass-blasters. I knew how they operated, I knew their tactics, I knew their motives, I knew who to contact about what, and I could get ahead because I could predict their moves.

Much like Jaysen, I dread change.

This will be 3 schools in 3 years, and I think what freaks me out the most is I don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work out. This was my Plan B, and I don't have a Plan C.

I'm trying to remain optimistic, but it's so difficult.
He's my baby, and it breaks my heart to see such an awesome kid, so stressed out.