Persistance really does pay off.

Four years!
It took four years, but LOOK what I found in Jaysen's lunch box!...

Peeps. Are you able to comprehend the magnitude of this feat?!?
My child...my food-issue child...actually ATE an apple.
By his own free will.
I know!
Take a minute to catch your breath because yesterday, there was THIS...

I know!
And just when you thought it couldn't get any better...
Today!...

Alright, so he didn't do as good of a job on today's, but still.
This is huge.
Jaysen, I am so proud of you!

As far as the rest of that apple...
Enter the clean up crew.

Bon appetit!

It's getting dark in here.

I can't seem to find the time lately, to stay up on posting.
I read all of your blogs, yet can't find the energy to make entries on this one.
Ugh.

There's a lot of things going on now- most of them not very good.
For example, my kids have been abducted by aliens and replaced with sassy, back-talking, fighting, aggressive heathens. Jaysen is losing his freakin' mind and Rylan is following in the footsteps of his big brother.

The.Effing.Games.
Jaysen is obsessed with getting a Gameboy Color, now.
Apparently, he neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds one.
Or he may die.
Or hate me for life.

He has a Wii and a DS, so said child is by no means deprived.
The Gameboy is relatively cheap (used), but I have no idea how much the games are.
The kicker is, he just wants it for one game.
Mario something-or-other.
That he has for the DS, but it's available for a Gameboy, so now he wants to play it on a Gameboy.

I do not want to purchase a Gameboy just so he can play this one game.

Reason number two is, The Games? They bring out The Crazy in him.
Seriously.
If he is playing a game and something doesn't go as planned, this boy will Lose.His.Shit.
He's going to give himself a stroke.

He starts tantrumming, redfaced, screaming, tears, jumping up and down like the Holy Ghost is in him, and becomes self-injurious and destructive. He's even starting to leave bruises on his face from the SIBs. And they're way more intense than before.

It's not a typical Jaysen-ASD-style-Tantrum though. These are quick. Almost out of nowhere. An intense burst of raw anger. So much anger. So out of control.
It's not only no fun, it's scary.
I know it's coming from somewhere- that he's trying to tell me something that I'm just not connecting with- but I'm at such a loss.

He's also been acting out in school, destroying things when he gets angry or upset, so it's pretty much across the board, and not just at home.

The only thing I got for Mother's Day, was a painting he did in school.
Yesterday, he ripped it to shreds because I told him he needed to calm down if he wanted to continue his Wii game.

Nice, thanks.

My hand is killing me.
You cannot even imagine how much this nerve damage stuff hurts.
So now I have to deal with The Crazy, on top of The Frankenhand.

I am holding fast to the idea that there is someone out there who has a voodoo doll of me, and is abusing the hell out of it.

If you see them, please poke them with sticks until they stop.
I would totally do it for you.

Mommy~dearest now with Frankenhand grip! Order now and receive 6 stitches free!

Mercury is obviously retrograde- but it's getting more difficult to tell, because it seems I just can't catch a break. Ever. Like not since 1978 or so.

Maybe all this craptastic stuff is happening for a reason.

Maybe I'm going to be rewarded with something huge.

Or maybe it's a sign I should resign this blog.

Maybe someone cursed me.

Whatever's going on, it needs to stop.

Because really?

I was just trying to open a can of green beans, not audition as a Gorefest 2010 hand model.

Behold The Frankenhand...

Am sexxxy to even the undead now.

*Crickets*

I'm still here. I think. Just haven't had much time (or energy) to write.
The bright side is that although the kids are whoopin' my arse, there hasn't been much to report, so that's good news, right?

Keeping it real, the kids are berzerker.
Like, omg-who-is-slipping-them-energy-drinks-behind-my-back kind of berzerker.
The Fighting. I cannot take The Fighting.
And I would like to personally thank those who taught my children the finer points of The Whining. They are professionals now. Probably black belts.

I do not know which is worse- The Fighting, or The Whining.
They both drive me batshit insane.

As if my emotional zombies weren't enough, I am completely fatigued from the surgery. It was over a month ago, but I guess the fatigue can last for up to a year? Yeah, thanks for that little forewarning there, guys! Ugh.

I'd bitch more, but I.Am.Exhausted.
Hope to post more regularly soon...

Carnival's up!

Pssst...
Go check out the blog carnival over at TherExtras.

CafePress and Autism awareness efforts

I'm torn.
I love CafePress. I mean love.
I have many of their products.
CafePress is having a promotion in acknowledgement of Autism Awareness month.
A portion of the proceeds for their "Autism gear" will go to Autism Speaks.
Yeah, Autism Speaks.

At first, I was all "heck no, I can't support that".
Then I was all "I wonder why they chose Autism Speaks"?
Now I'm all "I wonder if they even know anything about Autism Speaks versus any other Autism organization such as the ASAN or Autism Society?"

I've decided to post this anyway, because as an Autism advocate, I feel it is my job to help educate. I sent a response email to the woman who originally contacted me, asking why CafePress decided to support Autism Speaks (among other things). Sadly, I have not received a response as of yet.

So.
You may support Autism Speaks. You may not.
It's obviously your choice to make.
It's also your choice whether to buy from CafePress during this promotion or not.
Maybe even shoot them an email. I did.

Carnivals and coffee!

She did it again!
That silly woman over at TherExtras let me into another one of her Blog Carnivals.
Still no cotton candy... Barbara, are you listening?????

Anyway, Barbara is awesome. She's a therapist, who should probably have a newly founded credential, because she does it all- PT, OT, and although she probably doesn't realize it- SW. And she's smart. And opinionated. And a mom. All wrapped up into a crispy tempura...oh wait- that was my lunch.

I know doods, she totally let me in on her own accord.
I didn't have to buy a ticket or anything.

The topic of the Carnival is Childhood Expressions. So I am reposting two submissions of stuff my kid says that make my face squish up all funny, then I "get it".

New Math
Jaysen: "Let Rylan come out and play with us!"
Me: "No...he just had a bath, and I don't want him to get all dirty. Plus, it's his bedtime."
Jaysen: "Equals what?"
Me: ...huh?
Jaysen: "Equals what?"

Plus it's his bedtime. Got it.


The Case of the Mysterious Thumb-Foot
Jaysen has a hangnail on his big toe. He won't let me try to "get" it, for fear it will hurt worse, so for the last three days, he has been through a battalion of Spongebob band-aids. This morning, he was awkwardly bent over his foot.

"Jaysen, what are you doing?"
"I'm putting Spongebob on my thumb-foot."
His thumb-foot? Ah... I got it.

If you want to read more about the crazy stuff that comes out of my kid's mouth, click the "Jaysen-ish" link on my sidebar.

Be sure to stop by TherExtras and say hi to Barbara!
Tell her mommy~dearest sent you! I hear she has some new tattoos!
Oh wait, that's a rumor I made up about her. Okay, forget the tattoo.
Touche Barbara! Love you and have a great carnival!

I??? Am totally laying off the coffee now...