Hooters

On my new haircut:
Jaysen: I like your twins.
Me: What twins?
Jaysen: What are those called again?
Me: Bangs.


On walking in on me putting on my bra:
Jaysen: Nice boob-clothes you got there.


Yep. He's a keeper.

Psssst....

I'm going to let you in on a secret...

I want to tell you about this super cool blog.
It's called Spectrum Siblings, and if you are a parent of a child with Autism, or even are looking to understand it a bit better-

You have got to check this out!

Cale, the author of Spectrum Siblings, does a phenomenal job of describing what it is like to be on the Spectrum, as well as has a treasure chest of information, tips, and tricks- that he himself, has Autie-approved.

Why else is Spectrum Siblings the awesomest???

Because I'm guest blogging there today.

Longtime followers may have already heard our story, but I do have some newbies.

(Hi newbies!)

Go and check it out. Now.

Twenty-sixteen

That's officially how old I am.

Yesterday was my birthday-
(Usually, Companion doesn't like me blogging about him, but too bad.)

Mari (my birthmom) was in town, and wanted to get together for my birthday-ironic? Hahaha...
Because of the weather, she cancelled and wanted to reschedule. I know what you're thinking, how can you reschedule my birthday? I mean, MY birthday?!? Whatever.

So dinner ended up being Companion, my sister, my cousin and his girlfriend. It was just dinner- nobody was hanging out or partying, everyone had other responsibilities to attend to. I should mention that I wasn't feeling the best- I was tired and my stomach was killing me.

As we pulled into the driveway, I noticed my sister turned in just before me.
What the heck was Sissy doing here? I thought she had to rush home?
And why is there a pick up truck in the driveway? Who's truck is that?
....
Yep. Companion threw me a surprise party- and boy, was I surprised!
I walked in to a fully decorated house, and a bunch of people in my living room.
Everybody that I am in contact with on a daily basis was in on it.
He had old friends, new friends, work friends, family friends, and friends I didn't even know.
A few friends got missed, but he did a really nice job. His biggest challenge was that I have a lot of friends (who'd of thought?), but none of them know each other. (Divide and conquer, people)
I even had a friend who took the bus from Downtown to my city, and walked a quarter mile in the snow to my house!

There was beer, food, beer, music, beer, no kids, beer, cake, and beer.
Really- what more could you ask for.

I should also mention that I've wanted a surprise party since I was 14, and never had one. There was nothing that I wanted more than that. Just a surprise party, dammit- is that too much to ask for?!? I mean, I stopped asking for a pony when I was like, eight!
So, yay! I got my party!
And despite my feeling icky, it was really awesome.
Way to go, Companion! You done good.

What? You didn't get invited???
I'm claiming innocence because obviously I didn't know-
Take it up with Companion.

So, it took twenty-sixteen years, but I had the best birthday ever!
Thank you!!!

Oh snap-

Happy Friday 13th Everyone!!!

Old math.

One sick kid + one sick kid = no fun.

Party Gras

The Mardi Gras dance was AWESOME!

As soon as we walked in, a girl in Jaysen's class ran up to him, said "hi", and they made a beeline for the dancefloor. I had to chase him down to take his coat off. He danced for a bit *kicking myself for not picking up a camera battery*, ate pizza, danced some more, ran around the dance floor, ate more pizza, flashed his boobs... just seeing if you're paying attention.

He had a great time. And I had a great time watching him. Usually, Jaysen's extremely clingy- not tonight! He was out and about, having a blast.

And yes- we did get a King Cake, and yes, it did have a plastic baby in it. A golden plastic baby. It's his new treasure.

I have a date.

...And I'm so excited!
He's blond, blue eyed, very handsome, has a great sense of humor... did I mention he's 4 feet tall?

Tonight at the school, they're having a Mardi Gras dance! Despite all of the rough patches lately, Jaysen has agreed to go with me, and is totally looking forward to it. Why is my son so suddenly interested in social events, you may ask? Two words- King Cakes.

Apparently, King Cakes are a Mardi Gras tradition. They're cakes, with a surprise baked into them- a coin, bean, other small token... and the finder of this surprise is said to have good luck bestowed upon them. What do the King Cakes at Jaysen's Mardi Gras party have in them?

Plastic babies.

For reals? Yep. Plastic babies. I do not know why they chose to have plastic babies- possibly because one may choke on a coin, but the chances of choking on a baby are slim to none? I cannot fathom any other reason. However, the cake-with-the-plastic-baby-in-it was enough to send Jaysen over the edge into hilarity (and myself too). He must go and see the baby-cakes. Babycakes?

I will definitely keep posted about this event.
Hold onto your babies, they just may wind up in a cake.
Which upon second thought, may not be all that bad of a place to be...

Three cheers for the bus driver.

Considering all of the craptabulous things Jaysen had been through last year in school, this year (at the new school) has been the cat's pajamas. The comfy flannel kind. This school is amazing. He's still spending most of his time in the Resourse Room, but they're encouraging him to join the ranks of the General population, it's just not been his cup o' tea.

Imagine my surprise when issues began to arise...this time, with the bus driver.

Jaysen and his morning bus driver have this love-hate thing going on. The bus driver is your typical old man, complete with the grandpa-jokes. He likes to make faces at Jaysen and spout off comebacks. He gets a rise out of making Jaysen react. Yeah, well I don't.

I decided to write the bus driver a letter. In it, I explained a bit about Jaysen, and why he does and says some of the things he does. I explained that Jaysen hates school, and he (the driver) is the person who is transporting him to the most evil place on earth. This causes Jaysen's anxiety to raise, and he quickly approaches fight-or-flight mode. I explained that those are the reasons it is imperative that while I am pulling every rabbit out of my hat, I be allowed to do so without intervention.

I know he means well, and he's just trying to get a smile out of my kid, but after the second week of my kid telling you "I STILL don't like you!" It's time to try something else.

The next day, the bus driver asked for my phone number. There was something he wanted to talk to me about. I thought about giving him my work number, but ended up giving him my cell because he does, afterall, know where I live if he really wanted to come and get me.

He called later that morning, and he thanked me profusely. He told me a little story about how they don't give the bus drivers any information about the kids due to confidentiality laws, and he once had a student who had a seizure on the bus. He handled it appropriately, but he said that he may have not been so startled, had he known this student was seizure prone. He then told me that his friend's daughter is "A.D. and A.D.H.D" (AD? Um, okay), and his grandson that lives with them has "Asperjers". I thought it was funny, but sweet how he was trying to connect. He kept saying how much he appreciated me letting him in on a little about Jaysen.

The next day when it was time to get on the bus, Jaysen starts up the steps and is startled by a loud, booming voice- "Goooood Moooorning Jaysen!"
Oh gawd. Was he not listening to anything yesterday???
Jaysen looked at him and said "Stop it!"
The bus driver looked back at him and said, "okay".

Wow. He did listen.

Jaysen still hates school and still doesn't like the bus driver, but he doesn't cry that the bus driver is teasing him anymore either.

Baby steps.

Shiny things

We've been going through another rough patch here at Casa de Quirk. It involves Mario. Dammit.

It's been awhile since *knocking on wood* Jaysen has had an uber-meltdown- you know, the out of control kind that makes you say ohmigod...whatishappeningtomychild?!?!? Yeah, those.

His tantrums have always stemmed from frustration. In the beginning, it was his frustration with weak communication skills. He has gotten much better at that, and will usually repeat his thought with little to no grudge.

Playing Mario will raise his hackles in a millisecond. With video games, you are not necessarily in control. Sure, you can control which direction your little plumber-man goes, whether he jumps or crouches, but that's really about it. The rest is up to timing. This is crucial to the perfectionist. If you know in your head, how you want the scene to play out, but miss your jump, lose your flower suit, or heaven forbid get an extra guy when that wasn't in the original plan, you apparently wreck the alignment of the planets and Armageddon is forthcoming.

Plan 1: Teach Jaysen coping skills in times of frustration. I have worked with him on "deep breathing" and how he has to take these breaths when he feels like he's getting angry. It worked a little, but realistically, we've been doing this method for years with minimal success.

Plan 2: Give him a warning to calm down. If he does, great. If not, instruct him to turn the game off. Now!

Lately, I have resorted to Plan 2. He seemed to be okay with it at first, but lately he's getting more and more belligerent. He'll tell me it's his Wii, that I'm a kid and can't tell him what to do, that he'll call the police on me, that he'll kill me, or just scream all sorts of nasty stuff. I can deal with that.

On the other hand, my mother watches him after school. She can't not take what he says personally, and to top it off, he's become aggressive with her again. So my mother calls me at work, talking about how stressed out she is and what am I going to do about it because I can't let my child act that way.

I have been around and around with my mom, about the importance of following through with things. She is afraid to stand up to him because she is afraid she'll escalate his aggression. What she will do, is yell at him over and over, power struggle, make threats, and yes, on occasion, hit him back when he hits. I know, I know... trust me, I've already talked to her bazillions of times.

Somehow, it always comes back to me. I'm not exposing him to enough. I let him watch too much TV. I don't encourage his creativity. I don't word things right when I talk to him. I let him call the shots. I don't give enough attention. I give too much attention. It does not end. But my mom is a blamer. The kind that knows it's somebody else's fault, no matter what the situation. Jaysen's Autism? Yep- that must have been from Ex's drug use as a teenager. Or something someone on that side of the family did at one time or another. M'kay.

My mother's heart is in the right place- she loves her grandsons so very much. She just wants everything to be perfect, and doesn't want Jaysen to face such hardships. It breaks her heart that Jaysen doesn't have friends, that he gets so frustrated, and that he has such limited interests. Being the person that she is, I think she is just unable to connect with him, even though I believe she wants to.

Holy craptart- How did this turn into a post about my mom???

Anyway- that's what I've been dealing with for the most part.
Figuring out a plan for the Mario crap, and diverting my mother's attention with shiny objects.
Oh wow- look over THERE!