Summer lovin'....

Starting to stress about the summer already. There's 9 inches of snow outside, but I am stressing about the summer.
The kids are going to have to go to camp, so I'm starting the research process to find one that fits.

Jaysen came with me to visit the first one...








Will keep looking.

Back by popular demand.

Okay! I know I haven't posted in eleventy billion years, but I've been busy.
Or something like busy.
Busy-ish?

Anyway, because the people have demanded it *ahem, Dad*, I am really going to try to make an effort to be more consistent with my entries here.
Because you all love me. *ahem, Dad*

So.
Because I live to tease my kids about....well, anything really... this was the conversation this morning:

Me: So Jaysen. Do you have a girlfriend yet???
Jaysen: No! That's disgusting!
Me: No it's not disgusting! When are you getting married? I want grandbabies you know.
Jaysen: I am not marrying Marissa.
Me: Ooooh....Marissa, eh? Okay, well maybe we'll get you a mail order bride. Like off of Amazon or something. Maybe ebay.
Jaysen: *ignoring me by now, but probably wondering how she would fit in a box*
Me: So what would you do if a girl came up and kissed you on the cheek?
Jaysen: I would freak out.
Me: *Bwahahahaha!* But kisses are nice.
Jaysen: I know kisses are nice. I like to kiss moms.
Me: Um. What other moms are you kissing?
Jaysen: You....and Moppi....she's your mom....
Me: Okay. So when are you going to get married so I can have grandkids?
Jaysen: Mom. You'll be dead.
Me: *blink blink* Erp?

My son. Killin' me off before the promise of grandkids.
He is so grounded.

An open letter to my Wii Fit.

Dear Wii Fit,

I have tried for so long to love you. It just isn't working out for me. It's not you...it's me. No, wait...it's you. I hate you.

It isn't enough that you mock me when I step onto the balance board with an "Oh!" like you are surprised that I weigh that much. Nice. I hate you. But in the event that I actually gain weight, you proceed to make my Mii plump out magical like (and she seems just as shocked too), and now? I have the fattest Mii in the lineup. Yay me! Or yay Mii. You can suck it either way.

Exhibit A

Also? When we are doing jackknifes together, you really need to reconsider the counting thing. Every single time, I swear you are saying "one more to go!" and I get all excited- but really, it is "tw-ONE-ty more to go!" Seriously? That is a cruel trick. You are an asshole.

Insults aside, I am convinced you are trying to gaslight me. I used to use the female trainer. But I got bored with her svelte ass gently telling me I just "wasn't strong enough for this exercise", so I am batting for the other team and have switched to the Dood. I like Dood. Dood is alright in my book. He does not make me feel self conscious with my fatparts jiggling all around. Why? Because he is apparently a eunuch. Which is delightfully entertaining. I trust Dood. But then one day, there is something different with Dood. Something is off. Hmmm...what could it be? Hey- when did he get that metro ponynub? Is Dood's hair long enough for a ponytail? Is it just too hot inside of my television today? Did Dood get fired and this is his replacement? Did he run off with Chick? Is Chick preggers?!?!? Why have I never noticed this before? And then the next day, he's back to his usual self.

Gaslighting.
See for yourself.

This is Dood. Nice looking, non-judgemental, kindhearted...he cares, yo.


This is back of Dood.


Hmm...what's this? An interloper?


WTF Dood?!? You're obviously more absorbed with your looks than you are with my health.
Go screw yourself.


You be the judge.

So, I am leaving you for Zumba, where the girl trainer is upbeat and motivating, and the Guido-boy trainer looks at you with crazy-eyes, just like he probably would in a real club, because you are blocking his reflection in the mirror. He too, is self absorbed, but at least he doesn't front.

Kisses,
Me.

Ugh.

That's it, yo.

When the minutes drag...

Am absolutely holding my breath.
Jaysen's IEP is on Tuesday. Or at least the conclusion is.
We began the IEP some time ago, but due to unforeseen tweakiness from the Awesome School, it will be continued on Tuesday.

The school social worker met with me today to see how things were going, and also to let me in on the inside scoop.

There have been a lot of changes at the school. I understand this.
But I also feel the "new" resource room teacher is ill-equipped to deal with my child, as well as his Gen.Ed teacher.

Don't get me wrong...these ladies intentions are pure.
Especially Gen.Ed. She is a doll, with a heart of gold.
But that doesn't make her the right teacher for my child.
Not saying she's the wrong teacher...oh for everlovin' gummi bears, the woman is a granola girl.
Everything is peace and love and why-can't-we-all-get-a-long *puppydog eyes*???
Oy.

Anyway, I was very displeased at the disorganization at the last meeting, and the SW assured me that everyone will be prepared. She also gave the impression that she agreed with my insights, and advised me to "stay on top of things" because this disorganization is just the start.
Contrary to the reports I have gotten, Jaysen has apparently been a little shit. And they have pulled his para (since re-instated), and it looks like everyone forgot how to fill out a proper ABC chart.
Double oy.

I just want the freakin' IEP signed, sealed, and delivered.
Then I will be able to sleep at night.

In the meantime, Jaysen will be starting tutoring in math and reading, as well as piano lessons.
Um...you can stop laughing.
Srsly.
I will make him practice at your haus.

More later, gators!

A question to the masses...

Okay. I have to ask this.
Because I am at the end of my rope.

What do you do when someone close to you just doesn't "get it"?

You know the type.
"It's not Autism...your kid is just a freakin' brat".
"You are too lax. Your kid needs stricter boundaries".
"Just force him to eat those foods". -or- "He'll eat when he's hungry".
"Don't give in to his 'shenanigans' ".
"He's very good at manipulating you".
Or the best ever... "He's faking it".

Srsly.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

So what do you say?
How can you help these people to see that this is very real?
My heart breaks when I face this, because I just don't know what to do.
I'm talking about people who love me. People whom I love.
People who really do think that they know better, think they are doing the right thing, and in Jaysen's best interest. People who believe I am coddling and defending Jaysen, and my parenting is full of suckitude.

I know what to say to a stranger, friend, or even acquaintance- but not to someone this close. Someone whose feelings are way fragile, and takes everything personally.

Ugh.

I know I'm not the first to experience this, so I am asking for any advice or help that anyone has. Violence is not an option.

Wikki wikki what?

Storkdok wrote a lil' post about being voted #62 in Wikio's Top 100 Autism Blogs. She suggested perhaps the voters were partaking of illicit substances when they came up with that (and they may have been, since AoA is ranked at #1). Which is funny, because I dig her "sad little blog" as she describes it.

I have to say that at first I thought it was funny, but now I am in total agreement, as MY sad little blog came in at #22!
Inorite?!? Check it out yourselves here.
Okay, now 22 is a fabulous number (my birthday number!), but RLY?
What ARE you people smoking?!?
Seriously. I want to know, and can I get it mailorder?

What's even hilariouser-er-er?
The "Top 3 posts" they chose for me, had nothing to do with Autism.
Nothing.
Not one thing.
One was lamenting my achy-breaky heart, another on coffee, and another on when The Red One flushed his skivvies down the toilet.
Top Autism Blogs fodder there, I tell ya!

You bloggers out there should check too.
I know a lot of you on that there lil' list, and I am proud to be associated with you all.
But you probably don't know you're on there either.
I'm talking to YOU, MOM-NOS, niksmom, joeyandysmom, Lora, Tanya, accidentalexpert, Stimey, pixie mama , and the many other writers that are beyond page 3 (as far as I made it because I *am* at work, y'know...

Yay!
I wonder what I can get for #22?
Spa vacation?
A matching luggage set?
Ceramic dalmatian?
Vajazzled?
Anything?

Fine. Whatever.
I still rock.
Wikio says so.