Meme

Thanks to lastcrazyhorn, I feel obligated to participate in the meme she tagged me with. Hey- I have an incredible amount of guilt since I skipped out on her last tag...plus, she threatened to chew my toes if I didn't comply. So here it is-

5 Things

5 things in my bag:
Stray pieces of gum with fuzzy lint adhered to them (magically this appears even when the gum is still wrapped)
Loose change
Jaysen's "Wilbarger brush"
Bouncy ball for emergencies
My sanity? Because I sure can't find it anywhere else

5 favorite things in my room: I'm going to assume this is referring to a bedroom
My bed
Sandalwood solid lotion from Lush
Painting on canvas of a devil-girl with a martini
Canvas of Jack Skellington
Gripfast to-the-knee combat boots

5 things I don't do anymore:
Bite my nails
Torture my sister
Go "clubbing"
Sleep
Regret

5 favorite flowers:
Lilac
Morning Glory
Lilly of the Valley
Foxglove
Clematis

Voila! And it truly was almost painless!
I am opening the tag to anyone who hasn't been tagged yet, as I am still searching for my sanity.

Got somethin' in your teeth.

Today, we sat for 8 hours, trying to get somewhere on the never-ending IEP. We had to reschedule as we ran out of time before we even came to the goals. But progress was made- we have a beautiful PLAAFP statement, and the supports/services section is so strong it could bend steel.

The most difficult part of those 8 hours, was attempting to keep my cool while the principal straight lied through her teeth.

We were discussing consequences. My issue was that any kid who gets in trouble is given the opportunity to defend himself and explain his actions by giving his side of the story. My son doesn't necessarily have that option nor ability. I asked that I be consulted in the investigation process, so I may offer my advice and reasoning as to why he did what he did, if it was a stim, perseveration, script...whatever the case may be. The all powerful principal didn't like that. How dare I question her authority.

The incident came up with his "suspension". So I used that example as a defense on why understanding the intent is so important, and how misinterpretations can lead to unwarranted and unproductive consequences.

Remember when she made the statement, "It's a general ed classroom, people are going to do things like take pictures."? (Read the whole asser-iffic conversation here, although I do have to warn you that you may actually lose IQ points by the sheer stupidity of it)
I referenced that meeting, and she looked straight ahead and said "I never had that conversation with you."

Whaaaat? (Down, Momzilla! Down!)

I took a breath and told her we can debate that later, but we have an IEP to attend to at the moment. What I really wanted to do is call her lying ass out, right there in front of the whole Team, but I restrained myself and played the mature role.

Later, when I met privately with the Sp.ed Coordinator and the lawyer privately, I said to her, "Ms.Sp.ed coordinator...you were there at that meeting. You were there when she said that about the 'being able to take picture' thing." She laughed, nodded her head, and said "yes". She knows how fed up I am with all of these erratic idiots, and at least had the decency to acknowledge that I am not part of this problem at least.
Treat my kid like crap, and now lie about it to save face. How about... don't treat him like crap in the first place, then you wouldn't have to worry about things like saving face, Ms. Principal, now would you? Flippin' liar.

Shit- maybe sher really doesn't remember having that conversation with me. Maybe she's got some kind of personality disorder, and I was dealing with Lolita, her alter-ego, that day? Maybe she was coming off a bender and totally blacked that conversation out? Maybe she has a lie-quota to fill for the school year? Maybe she's delusional, and thought she was at someone else's IEP? I don't know, I'm just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway, this just reaffirms that I need to get Jaysen out of that school. She has it in for him, things are not going to get any better, and I am making the right choice in sending him elsewhere.

More later, as I am beat.

(The) Power of attorney

So, as I was saying, we spent 6 hours on just the BIP- not even touching the IEP yet. Although I still did most of the talking, my attorney furiously took notes, and interjected when the school and I came to a standstill (which was quite often).

Although I didn't really gain all that much, the attorney's presence was definitely felt. I remember talking to the Special Services Supervisor, and her explaining to me that if we go anywhere other than his home school, it would be considered "school of choice", meaning that I would have to provide transportation. In this meeting, we discussed other schools, and lo and behold...transportation would be provided. Imagine that.

The school I wanted him in is still a hearty NO. Seems they don't want to "overburden" the school. My argument that deciding on a school should be based on whether or not the school could meet Jaysen's educational needs, and not the thought that my child would be a burden...held little weight. My preferred school is the only school in the district that has teachers certified in ASD. Ummm...yeah, that would be pretty important, but apparently they're sticking with the "overburdening" of the school.

The attorney said that since the preferred school-thing wasn't happening, Jaysen should be allowed a parapro who has no less than one year experience with ASD. She countered that it was an impossible request. The district has a union, and the job posting can say "experience preferred", but it can't be required. The people with seniority get first choice at the jobs and that's it. The attorney mentioned that we could bypass that by writing the parapro qualifications into the IEP. She said they can't do that because the State told her that an IEP does not super-cede the union. The attorney had never heard of that, so he'll be checking into it.

One of the hot topics of the meeting, regarding the BIP, was "teacher discretion". I wanted it taken way down. Their argument was that a teacher has the right to run her class, and to determine what is disruptive and what is not. My counter was that we empowered a teacher, without guidelines, this year, and it didn't prove to be in Jaysen's best interest, now did it?

She had no argument after that. Yay for me. So the discretion was reduced, and we found a way to decide at what level and on what occasions Jaysen should be removed from the classroom. I was cool with that.

After ignoring and avoiding me for over 4 months straight, Ms.Gen.ed has graciously awarded me the honor of contacting me once a week by e-mail, to discuss the previous week of school. I explained this was unacceptable. There are only a matter of weeks left in the school year, and I shouldn't be restricted regarding my communications with her if no other parents are. Ms.Gen.ed now has to respond to my e-mails as they arise.

Gee, Ms.Gen.ed, I guess you should have been at the IEP meeting instead of sending the Phys.Ed teacher in your place. That's what happens when you have no backbone to stand up for yourself- people get to make decisions about you and you relinquish your right to any input.

We're meeting again this coming Thursday, to attack the IEP. Ms.Gen.ed will not be gracing us with her presence at that meeting either, because "the classroom parents" feel she is pulled out of class too much for meetings regarding Jaysen. The attorney made sure he had it clear that the parents were in essence dictating who would attend the IEP meeting. Yep. He later explained that there really is no benefit to having Ms.Gen.ed there anyway, since she's obviously not involved in any positive way for Jaysen. Whatever- just get us out of this school.

On another note- Jaysen had his first playdate with an unfamiliar child. I met this mom online (hey... I'm not dating her), and she lives real close and has a son with PDD-NOS as well. We thought we'd get together and see if our kids were a match to play. Her son was very shy. Very sweet, but shy. Jaysen's a jabberjaw. Half the time he's not making any sense to anyone but me, but a jabberjaw nonetheless.

It went pretty well though- we met at Jungle Java, which is a playplace with a full coffee bar (Whoo-hoo!), the kids ran around and the moms drank coffee and talked about the boys. The only thing they really have in common is they both like Max and Ruby and M&M cookies, but it was our first meeting, so there's still a lot to learn about them. The mom and I had a bit more in common- similar experiences with the boys at school, similar situations at home...it was good to meet someone that understood my life a little better. So, if she and her son are up to it, we'll probably hook up again. Jaysen's suggestion was McDonald's. What a surprise.

Prince Charming

My son...the charmer.

*sigh*

Hand over my heart

Six hours.

Six hours is the time we spent yesterday, working on just the BIP (behavior plan). We never even got to the IEP. My brain has officially turned into Jello. The kind with the little chunks of fruit in it.

I ended up hiring an attorney to accompany me to the IEP, and he went over everything with a fine toothed comb. I'll get more into that later, because I have to get to work, but I have something FANTABULOUS to share...

After I dropped Jaysen off at school, I went back to my car to get my coffee and my daunting "Big Black Bag of Advocacy". As I re-entered the school, I saw Mr.Sub and a little blond head in the office.

Oh shit- I've been gone for a whole 5 minute. What the hell is he in trouble for already???

I tried to hide in a corner so I could watch. I saw Mr.Sub point to another kid. Jaysen turned and followed the kid around the back of the secretary's desk. Where the loud speaker is. I heald my breath.

Holy crap...he's going to do the Pledge.

So I ran to the Social Work room to hide out (remember, if he sees me at school, his day is done). We waited a bit and sure enough, his name and another kid's name were announced, and...he did the pledge!

My son did the Pledge of Allegiance!

I was so proud, I got all teary. I was so happy that I was actually there to hear that.

It was a good day.

Memo to Jaysen

Dear Jaysen,

You smell like monkey-feet.
Stop playing Mario, and take a bath.

Love,
Mom

Instinctual gender identity?

Conversation last evening...

"Ugh- I despise picking out my clothes for work. Hey Jaysen- what do you think I should wear to work tomorrow?"

"How about a pretty skirt?"

(Ugh- a skirt) I retreat to the recesses of my closet and produce 3 options for him.
"Okay, which one of these?"

Jaysen inspects all 3 specimens carefully. "Uh...the flowers!"

"That's a great choice, thank you for helping me out!"

"Yeah. You wear a skirt, and your 'work-man' (bossman) will be so happy and proud."

Erp?
Is my son inferring that my boss would appreciate it of I dressed more girly?
Things that make you go hmm.