True love...again.

My kids were not invited to my sister's wedding.
What?!? You didn't know my sister got married?
Hmm... must've forgot to mention it.

ANYway...

We have 2 parties this weekend for the newlydreads, and I had to prepare Jaysen.
I knew he was going to have difficulty understanding that yes, Sissy is now married, and sorry, but nobody told you.


"Who is Sissy marry?"
"She married DB."

"Mommy... who did you married?"
"I married... your Dad."
"My Dad? My Daddy?
*shiver* "Yes, your daddy."

"Mommy... why did you married Daddy?"
*oh.my.buddha.on.a.half.shell- choke back the bile, choke back the bile.*
"Well, I married your Daddy because..*holycrap I really think I'm gonna barf*..we were in love."


"I'm going to get married."
"Yeah? Maybe one day you will..."
"No, I'm going to married Marissa."
"Marissa from your class?"
"Yep. We're falling in love."
"Uhh... Does Marissa know that?"
"We are in loooooooooove!"
".....Oh."

And then he began to practice how he was going to ask Marissa to marry him.
Hope she knows how to make mac-n-cheese.

10 inches!

NOT what I am talking about, you pervy little pervertons...
Better late than never, but I gots me a spiffy new haircut.
And yes, I really did get ten inches lopped off.

Midlife crisis? Diversionary tactic? Crazy? I dunno. You decide.

Pardon the phone, but seriously how else so you take a pic of your own hair?


The back looks kind of funky in this one- was not happy...


I conned Jaysen into taking that one.
Not too shabby for a kid who'd rather be playing Mario.

Halloweenies 2009

I love Hallowe'en. It's my absolutely favoritest holiday of the year. Every year, I look forward to the possibility that Jaysen has gotten over his costuming phobia - costumes are cool, as long as there's nothing on his face, and as long as Mom doesn't dress up. See here.

But this year, seemed different.

This was the first year my sensory-evasive son, conquered his issues and actually touched the pumpkin guts.
Not only did he touch them, he actually got in there and dug around in the pumpkin!
Granted, he only used one hand, but still- he was covered in pumpkin yuck, fingers to elbow, and was having a blast!

Awesome!

Enter the Hallowe'en wrecker...

...that would be the one on the left.

Costuming was no big issue this year, since he wanted to be Luigi.
Luigi without the signature mustache.
Okay, whatever. He was still really cute, and very excited.



We had a Mario costume for Rylan, which he was geeked about as well. When it came down to it though, he wanted to be Thomas the Train.
Thomas? Seriously?
Ugh.
But it's not about me, so he was Thomas.

Cutest Thomas evar!

Time for Trick-or-Treating.

Last year, my kids were all about it.
It took Rylan one house to figure out "I say Trick-or-Treat, and get candy?!? I totally got this one!"

This year?

Rylan chanted "I not go Trick-or-Treat!" as we started to walk the neighborhood, and sat at the end of each driveway, crying. Would not go up to the houses.
He Trick-or-Treated at a total of two houses- mine, and my parent's.

Jaysen wasn't much better. He Trick-or-Treated at a total of five houses. He was really selective on which houses he went up to. Not for any particular reason, just saying "That's okay, we'll go to a different one."

They were done in under 30 min.
Weenies.

Jaysen did get a kick out of passing out candy to other Trick-or-Treaters once back at the house. He was dishing out huge handfuls, and thought it was funny that the recipients would say "WOW!" when he filled their bags.



But!

You've got to see my dismay by now... I have no candy to pilfer!
C'mon! It's a mom's job to pilfer all the good stuff out of the kid's take-home stash!

Seriously, there's nothing to loot.
And I'm so bummed. Not one chocolate bar of any kind.

So, dear Jaysen, I'm thrilled you had a fun Hallowe'en-
But once again, you totally wrecked it for your mom.
Next year, you stay home and pass out candy. I'll go Trick-or-Treating.
I'll school ya on how it's done.

Because this?!? Is pathetic.

Sniffle.

One mom.

Going back to Jaysen's birthday party, I am amazed at how many parents just drop their kids off and run like Forrest Gump. I know I may be a tad overprotective, but even if Jaysen didn't have the issues he has, I don't know how comfortable I'd feel just dropping him off at someone's house whom I've never met. And I'm usually the only mom at other birthday parties.

Aside from my friends, one mom stayed.
One mom.

Kids were having a blast, the mom and I strike up a little chat.
Then the magic words came.
"My son has expressive receptive language disorder."

Ah.
That's why you stayed.

Needless to say, we bonded.
We watched how each other interacted with our children, and frequently gave each other that knowing look. We talked about school, the pace of the classroom, the supports in place, and our children's strengths and weaknesses. We talked about getting the boys together for friendship and pragmatics.

I explained Jaysen's affinity for VHS tapes and DVD's.
She told me about her son's love for the color red.

We understood each other.

As they were leaving, I noticed her son becoming a little anxious.
He was frantically looking through the leftover treat bags.
She was telling him there weren't anymore with suckers in them.
Still, he searched, and I could see on her face, that she was making that decision.


The one where you have to plan your escape because you know your child is going to flippin freak out. The one where you run through every scenario in your head, desperately trying to figure out which one will preserve even a shred of dignity. The one where you wonder if you'll ever be invited back to another birthday party ever again.

I beeline to my candy stash, and present the boy with a sucker.
A red sucker.
He smiles at me.
And with a look of utter relief, so does his mom.

Bad mom

Oh crappity crappiness...
I effed up.
Big time.

Just last week, I was the best mom in America. This week, I suck.
How did that happen?!?

Today was picture day, and I flippin' totally forgot.
Craaaaap.

Sent Jaysen to school in a T-shirt, and even thought "wow- his hair is so messed up, I'm going to see if I can talk him into wearing this hat".

And obviously, forgot to send any money.

Don't even talk to me about re-takes. It says in huge red lettering: Important! Payment options must be completed on or before Picture Day.

They even capitalized Picture Day.
'Cuz it's that important, yo.

My kid will be forever remembered as the kid in third grade with messy hair and a wrinkly-arse T-shirt. Who didn't pass out any pics because his mom is a freakin' lew-hew-zer.

So. What's your Bad Mom story?

Best party ever.

I? Am the best mom ever.
At least I feel that way after pulling this party off...

Jaysen's birthday party was an absolute smash!

Let's see...
There were 15 kids, (12 girls, 3 boys. I know...pimp.) and everyone had such a blast.
Nelson, "The Safari Guy" was amazing. Not to mention is caa-uuuute!

He started out hiding crystals and shiny rocks in the backyard, and had the "adventurers" try to find 'em. That was really cool to see the kids working together to find these itty-bitty treasures hidden in the grass and foliage. Then we went inside for a totally interactive animal adventure.

There was a ginormous tortoise that the kids got feed an apple.


An owl, which was so cool- it danced to music.
Danced way better than me.

Jaysen got to open up an armadillo...

Yipes!!!

And what's up in the backpack, yo?

It's a wallaby!

Yes. I had a flippin 'roo in my haus. I am that cool.

Seriously- you gotta love parties that run themselves...
Most importantly though, everyone had such a good time.
Kids were yammering to their parents at pick up time, and parents were grabbing brochures like they were bon-bons.

Kay. I'm tired now.

Eight is great!

Happy 8th Birthday Jaysen!

You are so awesome, you rockstar!

I hope you have a superfantabulous day, sweetheart.

I love you bigger than the universe.

Love, Mom.