Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Ohm Eye Gawd.

Gross, gross, GROSS!

Jaysen has been counting down the days for today. What could possibly be so special about today???

Today was the day I (reluctantly) volunteered to dissect an eyeball for Jaysen's class.
They took all the second graders (yes, that's right, second graders) into the cafeteria, and split them into groups of 5, with a volunteer.

Blah, blah, blah...
This sheep's eyeball was plunked onto a paper plate in front of me.
It didn't even look like I remember them looking like in middle school.
It rolled around a bit, and we sat there staring at each other (me and the eyeball) for what seemed like a really long time. A really long time.

The girls were wary, the boys were in full on gross-out mode.
Except Jaysen.
Although he had been anticipating this day for weeks, he was hit with a big dose of oh-shit-it-really-is-a-real-eyeball.
And so was I.

Being the mom that I am, I quickly sucked it up, grabbed my scalpel, and tried to make the instructed cut to remove the cornea.

Ohmigod...the smell.
Ohmigod...is it even cutting?
Ohmigod...can I do this?
Ohmigod...what is that shit squirting out of it?
Ohmigod...that kid knew it was vitreous humorous.
Ohmigod...cornea off. NOW it looks like a real eye. A really dead one.
Ohmigod...this is the nastiest thing since I cut Ex's toenails that one time. One time.
Ohmigod...wh...wait...where is Jaysen?

Apparently, my little braveheart took off like a bat outta hell.

He watched the cut, watched me remove the cornea, saw the kids passing it around to inspect it, looked into the really-dead-looking-eye, and freakin' bolted.

Momma didn't raise no dummy.

A few minutes later, he was re-routed back to me by his para. They're working on having him ask permission to leave whatever situation he is in, so she prompted him to ask my permission to leave.

*Eyes bigger than I've ever seen* "Mommy... can I go to the Resource Room?"
"Is it really gross? I think it's gross t...."
"Can I go to the Resource Room?!?"
"I..."
"MOMMY! I hafta go to the RESOURCE ROOM and you hafta come WIF me!"
"Honey, I can't leave, but I'll catch up with you later..."
"Okaybye Mommy!"

And off he went at a faster pace than a walk, but not quite a run.
Looking over his shoulder the whole time.

I did have to chuckle about the whole scenario after the fact, but it was really that gross.

7 comments:

Shea's Mom said...

Sorry. Couldm't even read that one.

;)

mommy~dearest said...

I don't blame you- I could barely write it!

therextras said...

You are a good Mommy.

Barbara

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

I would much rather dissect a sheep's eyeball than cut any full grown man's toenails! Nasty is right!

Casdok said...

Well done!
The things we do for our kids!

datri said...

Ewwwwwwww. My daughter (PDD-NOS) is in 2nd grade and I can't even imagine her observing that!

gizmo19961 said...

i remember when i had to do that...:)