Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Birthday time again

As Jaysen's sixth birthday quickly approaches (gulp), I thought some "birthday etiquette" from Jaysen may be in order.

Birthdays, Jaysen Style: How to enjoy yourself at my party.

Don't be offended if I hide when you show up. It probably means I'm happy that you're here.

Don't be offended if I run up to the next person that shows up and shower them with hellos and affections. I probably don't know what else to do.

If I protest loudly when your kid shows up, it's okay. We probably don't like each other- he probably picks on me, and I probably annoy the crap out of him. Get over it. Mom said I had to invite the whole class.

Don't expect me to pose for a hundred pictures. You can stop with that "look, there's a bird on my head" crap, it just pisses me off.

When it's time for cake, you may try to sing "Happy Birthday"- however, if I start to get upset, please stop immediately. Do not continue just because it's a birthday party and that's what you do. I don't. It's my birthday, and if I want you to shove the song up your a**, I'm entitled. (Hey, I may even wish for it).

I would like videotapes. I will open presents depending on the probability of it being a tape. I will probably be upset if it is not a tape, and may even throw the item at the giver. Don't be hurt or offended, I really thought it was a tape.

Above scenario will continue until:
~desired tape is found, upon which no other presents will be opened, and my attention will be expressly devoted to my new acquisition.
-OR-
~the last present is unwrapped. If desired tape is not within pile of discarded presents- party's over, you may as well go home, 'cuz that's where I'm going.

Don't be sad that you didn't know what the desired object was...nobody does. It's a secret. Not even Mom knows. Heck, I may not even know until that day.

DVD's run a close second to tapes. I like them too.

If I am getting anxious, don't crowd me and ask me a bazillion questions on how you can help. I don't know! If I knew, I would do it! Just leave me alone and let Mom take care of it. It will be okay.

Despite everything else, I will have a great time at my party, and I hope you will too! Thank you for coming, and if you feel the desire to send me a tape in the mail to redeem your crappy present of a Tonka truck...feel free.

Thank you, I will have a Happy Birthday.

6 comments:

Maddy said...

Eek. I don't envy you that one. Just a thought, but we try and wait until after the guests have left before opening the presents.

This happened accidentally at first because my youngest could not 'open' a present that was wrapped in paper, and they're nearly all wrapped in paper!
Best wishes

Jodi said...

Happy Birthdy to Jaysen. I wrote a post like this for my son's 16th birthday here:
http://jodireimer.blogspot.com/2007/01/happy-bird-day.html

dgibbs said...

We have an avoidance of happy Birthday being sung by more than one person. It may be we sing like crap but we try to stop before he runs from the room to go hide.

Casdok said...

Yes happy birthday! Hope it goes well!

mommy~dearest said...

Jodi- love the list of Do's and Don'ts!

His party is not until the 20th, but I will surely blog the adventure.

mollyalexis said...

We can't sing Happy Birthday here either. He didn't even like it when people said Happy Birthday. My son is also obsessed with video tapes and dvds. You should check out my blog and see a picture of his movie collection. http://mixedblessings4.blogspot.com/
Bobbi